Neyaa

Found:

Disquiet.

Found:

Neyaa!

There she was, a vision of beauty in this sooty little place! Standing atop a hill, outside a ratty tavern - my favourite kind! - she watched the world go by in a pensive fashion so ill-suited to her usually smiling eyes and wickedly curved lips! I just had to cheer her up!

Perhaps sneaking up on her from behind and tickling the woman was not the best course of action, however. She nearly knifed me!

Found:

Great discomfort.

Found:

Clarity.

Since leaving Rohan, I've had naught but time to think. I could dwell on apprehensions of what lies in wait for me, but I'm tired of doing so. Rather, my mind turns to specific portions of that. Not to the fears I have concerning their various reactions to my return but to the people themselves. To the people I walked away from, to those I left behind, each individual so very different and yet so perfectly poignant in their own way. My thoughts lie with them.

"-...ye have two days. If ye come back t' Ost Forod withou' a cart, ye're no' leavin' these lands wi' a head.", the gruff trader grumbled, one of his calloused hands having a rummage with the back of his reddened hair, "If ah find out tha' ye're no' worth the extra coin..."

Dagramir laughed, a foreign accent chiming out mirthfully through the ruins. Local men nearby turning their heads in annoyance to the clearly unwanted visitor. 

Found:

Disquiet.

I hate opening a new ledger. I hate the way the pages curl, never settling to offer a decent writing surface until one is further into the book. I hate the blankness that stares back at me, offering no insight or reference. I hate...

I hate what I have done and what I am about to do.

Anger flickers quietly within my heart still. Though it should not, we have discussed the matter at length and yet the thought of being placed on the same pedestal as the Snake widower, a man with one of the most strikeable faces I have ever encountered bothers me.

How could she think that of me? That I would stoop to such a level, of trivialising the love in which we share by taking to bed some back-alley Sally?

It was foolhardy to think that I could spend time with this woman and not grow attached, I knew it the night I questioned our attachment and asked what it is that we are doing here.

I knew that we could not remain friends and simply stay that way indefinitely whilst we shared one another's beds. A decision had to be made one way or another. A decision I did not want to make, a decision I knew I had to take.