Blince

Although it has been several days since my utter humiliation and likely end to whatever it was that I shared with Seaver. I cannot get the look on his face out of my mind, I shudder each and every time I picture it, like a hammer blow to the chest. As much as I had thrown myself back into everything that must go on as normal, my thoughts have been consumed with it and continuously playing out a different outcome, one where I had stilled my tongue instead and kept my heart in check.

At least Aanya's anger has subsided a little. Of course she has forgiven Seaver, I am of course to blame for it all even though it is an act performed by two. She baked him one of her pies. Since the guard who wronged her has been reassigned, the poor girl is no longer afraid to venture into that part of the village. She returned a little later, all smiles, it seems the pie never reached Seaver after all, his men, flattered her so much, she agreed they may eat the pie amongst them, and she enjoyed an hour or so in their company.

The long ride took Arenborn north along the Anduin, following the mighty river to the capitol city of Minas Tirith. He stayed a few days, mostly residing in the taverns. He avoided the Knights of the city. They were everything he had ever wanted to be. They looked so tall and proud, Arenborn just couldn’t handle being near them.

Aure: "The man is married?!"
Aeva: "I didn't know of it, even he didn't know of it!"
Aure: "He didn't know he was married? "
Aeva:"He didn't..I swear."
Aure: "He lies or is half-witted. Neither promises good, Aeva."
Aeva: "He had signed a wrong parchment at the Town Hall.."
Aure: "Is he blind by any chance?"
Aeva: "..No."
Aure: "Ah, just stupid then.. Well has he managed to sign the right document now?"

Why do I feel this way?

As if there's nothing inside me...

Like I'm nothing but a shell.

I don't feel anything. At first I was sad, then angry and worried. But now I feel... nothing. I'm nothing without him. I know I shouldn't depend on him so much or well that's what pa-pa would say but...

Without him I'm empty. Perhaps that's why I'm looking for him, desperate. Business you said. The next evening you said you would return... but you never came home did you? 

I knew life in Bree would be hard, but not this hard. If I had known of the struggles I would face, perhaps I would have stayed in Dale. But then again I'm not the same lass I once was. I used to fear my punishment for misbehaving now I don't fear much... Losing Skelly aye but nothing as petty as a punishment... Not anymore.