"It's no good, damn orcs are everywhere down there," said Ameren, pulling her mare to a halt as she came closer to the cart. "If we still had the cover of rain we may have been able to slip past them, but on a beautiful day like this they'll see us coming from a mile off."
Havaldr appeared less than pleased, took out his maps for the fifth time that day and examined the routes again. One of the hillmen stepped over and the pair of them pointed and mumbled for a good long while, trying to work out the best way forward.
At least the ground had started to dry up and they were able to keep a decent pace, making up for all these little detours.
"We'll head east, away from the river, try to get past that way and then turn southwest again. You may go scout ahead, Branson."
Ameren nodded to Havaldr and turned the mare around. "As you say, mister Holmwood. East it is."
The horse pawed eagerly at the ground and set off in a smooth canter at the slightest touch of her rider's heels, clearly enjoying the day's activities. Ameren couldn't help but smile, giving the mare a pat on the neck before taking hold of her mane with one hand and standing up in the stirrups as the horse started climbing up a rocky hill.
"At least you're back in your element, my girl," mumbled Ameren, getting a snort in reply. Indeed it was just this sort of thing the mare had been bred and trained for, swiftly moving through the harsh landscape while dodging all manner of foul creatures that prowl there.
You know it too, don't you? How fulfilled we feel when we get to do that which we are meant to do. What we were born to do.
Their pace slowed to a walk as they reached the ridge and Ameren gazed out over the valley, shielding her eyes from the sharp sunlight with her hand. There were old, crumbling ruins far in the distance, crudely patched and repaired with wood, iron and hides by the orcs laying claim to them. She turned the mare eastward, keeping the cart in sight down below on their left side, the valley on the right. Two of the hillmen were still down there with Havaldr, the third having gone ahead to the northeast with the same task as Ameren.
I hate to admit it, but they certainly have their uses. Even if they are bloody savages.
She reached back to take the waterskin and tugged down the mask before taking a sip, letting her thoughts slip back to the conversation she and Havaldr had had the previous evening.
One worrying topic after another, so much uncertainty. So many things that can go wrong. What if the plan fails and we're left exposed? What if we're discovered before we have a chance to reach the court? What if the ship is not there to meet us? What if we get run down by the orcs?
"What if the sun comes crashing down and burns the world to a crisp? You can waste your life wondering what if, and you'll be all the worse for it. There will always be situations that you aren't prepare for, no matter how thought-out your plans are or how cautiously you tread. And when that happens, the only thing all that worrying will amount to is making you hesitate and doubt in your own abilities. Do think ahead, but don't worry about things going awry. They will, and then you sort it out. Simple as that."
Lee again. One of her more useful lessons.
Ameren put the stopper back in the waterskin and tied it to her pack again, rummaging around in a pocket after a strip of dried meat.
Orcs we can fight, if there aren't too many. And Havaldr and I can always make a run for it if there are, we have the horses, and Fairy can carry two if she has to. Long enough to get away, in any case.
She stuffed the meat in her mouth and reached forward to scratch the mare's neck.
We can find passage on another ship, even if it takes a while. We have coin, some at least, and more can be found where there's people.
Ameren sighed and leaned back in the saddle again. Getting coin is the easy part. Living with yourself afterwards is trickier.
Must be a bit over a year clean now... would be a terrible shame to ruin that. But spending weeks stuck on the docks hoping to find cheaper passage would be wasted time. Might as well ride the whole way then. That damn ship had better be there.
She pulled the mask back up and clicked her tongue, urging the mare to move a bit faster.
And if we're discovered and Havaldr's recognised? Isn't that the very reason I'm on this little trip, to keep that from happening, and to solve the problem if it does occur? Do your bloody job and that won't be an issue. The more pressing matter is the one Havaldr fears. Should the plan itself fail, things are grim indeed and the solutions are few and far between. His suggestion is worth some consideration, though. If there are others who were involved, finding them would help us greatly.
The hill grew steeper, carrying them steadily upward. A slight sense of relief washed over Ameren as the ruins started to disappear in the distance behind them and there was nothing but rocky hills and dry fields as far as the eye could see. However, the feeling was short-lived, replaced with one of deep regret at a single thought as she looked out over the harsh and beautiful landscape.
I wish Connwear were here...
In an instant tears burned in her eyes and she bit down hard on her own lip to force her thoughts elsewhere, unsuccessfully.
Fucking had to go there, didn't you? No matter how hard I try not to think about him, it's always there, clawing at the back of my mind. Enough already, he's not here, wishing that things were different won't do a thing to help.
The mare had stopped and nickered softly, sensing her rider's distress. "It's all right, darling, it's all right... Keep going, no need to stop just because of this," mumbled Ameren, nudging the horse's sides with her heels. The mare shook her mane and snorted, but continued forward when she was bid to. "That's a good girl."
It's a damn joke, and not a very funny one. That which was suppose to provide me with some comfort through this gives me nothing but despair.
Ameren rubbed her eyes and slipped a hand down along her neck, pushing the armour aside, then searching for and pulling up the silver chain her ring was attached to. She looked down at the simple yet elegant piece of jewellery, turning it in the light, frowned and quickly put it away again.
Dwelling on it now won't help either. What's done is done, leave it be and focus on the situation at hand.
She tried to push the thoughts aside and bury them deep where they wouldn't be heard, to resume her musing of what to expect in the days to come. But then came words that left as sour a taste in her mouth as they had when she said them a month prior.
"I had thought we mattered more to him. I had hoped... I mattered more..."
