Pruderose

I was questioned by The Watch today related to Burke Haymoor’s death. I told them I had merely treated him to my best knowledge. It is the truth, or at least the better half of it.

There lies a dead man in our house. Unfortunately it is not my father. 

No, It is Burke Haymoor, whom I had treated for three days before I got the ’joy’ of declaring him dead. During those three days most of his relatives visited him. All of them were equally annoying. They were not less annoying when I delivered the news of his passing.

Dear tome,

Some time ago I made a plan how to befriend people as I shall require some aid in the future. 

Here is the first draft of Guidelines for befriending strangers temporarily: 
(Will be updated based on collected field evidence)

Dear tome of unfulfilled dreams,

Father has not died yet. How unfortunate.

To pass hours I have calculated few matters related to his future death.

At least two men will be required to carry his coffin when he finally decides to kick the bucket. However four would be an optimal quantity. This means I will need to make one to three more friends... What a chore. 

Dear tome with pages,

To pass the lone eve I have listed some ways I imagine father could die: