I
… I ...
...He... saved my life today
… I have no reminiscence on what really happened, I think we were standing on the edge of an icy cliff, looking over that great ocean
and suddenly there was water and ice and that terrible cold all around me and I could not breathe and everything was so cold and I couldn't get away
… and I heard his shouts and tried to scream and could not and the coldness just -
and then blank
and then he was there
…
I am messing up this parchment, silly tears
…
We have a campfire now, I have his cape around me and I am still feeling cold
…
And he sits there, guarding the fire
…
he saved my life
II
The last days here.
I have changed. Utterly, completely. If I, if we ever return here, it will never be the same again.
The journey back home started without my even acknowledging it at first, we just continued our slow pacing in the fields of ice, marveling the dark fortresses that were built here and there, trying to avoid bumping to those wild creatures of half man, half animal. We walked, talked, he searched the trail that would lead us safely forward, and I was able relax again, to forget that dreadful thing that had happened, and just to enjoy that beautiful, harsh, earth-shattering place. I must have asked at least hundreds of questions about it, about all that we saw, all the lovely details that surrounded us, so unique and so perfectly fitting to the environment.
And slowly, little by little, we began to see small green spots in that white layer of snow, a tree, couple of small bushes, little amount of first grass of spring. It felt as if the air had began to warm up with every step we took, as if the winter had reluctantly decided to give up on us, to let us exit from its icy realm. And finally, after a several days of walking and riding, we arrived to that true entry of North we had already passed when arriving here, to the ice canyon.
In a way it was easier to enter it this time, as we knew what to expect, the guarding creatures we had to confront were not as devastatingly frightening as they were before, the vastness of those cold walls did not seemed as overwhelming...
And yet-
Oh why is it so difficult to continue
The storm caught us just before we arrived to the canyon, suddenly the air was full of snow, ice, cold, the same that had almost ...then...
And he must have understood my anxiety... for he took my hand, and said that we should stay close to each other, began to lead us through that icy path
And then... I was not afraid anymore
We didn't speak. I held his hand, felt the storm rushing through us, felt the ice pebbles hitting my face, felt his warmth beside me, his character walking next to me. And I wanted never to let go.
Eventually the storm started to calm down, the stars appeared one by one, the air cleared. Little by little we started to speak again, to discuss, perhaps to draw away. Oh we did not talk that much even then, he asked me what would be the thing I would remember from that journey, I told him the truth, that it was those moments we had just had, and asked the same from him. He said it was when he pulled me out from that icy sea and was able get me breathing again; that he would cherish that memory in his heart...
And there, as he said that, I knew that for that precious, lingering moment, he held my heart in his hands
…
Ah, I know... I know we will never be but friends, and when we get back to home we continue our lives with our own friends and families, perhaps even finding our own beloved ones some day, and the memories of this journey will slowly begin to fade away, so that only the most precious ones will remain. I think I somehow understood it already there, and some kind of goodbyes were silently said in those moments.
We are still here, near that last refugee within the warm lands before entering to Forochel, still few days, before we reach Bree, and this journey officially ends. But, as he so well said, part of me will remain there, in those icy surroundings, where the white blanket covers everything one can grasp. And the rest of me, that which returns and continues her life... well...
I will never be the same again.
III
...hmmmh...
(tee-hee)
Yes, and now I have become fully capable in the challenging and important deed of measuring. In the dark too.
Oh dear...
