I wait for Cirdamir for several days already. I imagine what delays him and I could not blame him. A hooded cloak of Lothiavien was enough to loose in the crowd as to wander the surroundings and hear some roumors. The murderer of Caradin was captured by Daegond and brought once again before Vanimar to answer for his crime. I can only imagine Veryacano fulfilled his duty to call for Cirdamir and Lothiavien and I can understand they would leave anything else aside for this.
I would wait forever without a word of complaint for how much my beloved did for me already, for how I know I can turn to him no matter what and he would support me with such respect and devotion I am unworthy of, no matter how I disappoint him or go against his advice. But I cannot. I feel more and more weak each day.. I need to go soon if I am to be able to take care of myself.
“ I was expecting you.. beware.. the steel!..”
I cannot remember my dreams. I remember what Reiven and Teremonth were saying about their dreams, Daelith asking, begging, in great torment, for them to bring him the sword. He calls me not, or I cannot remember it, but the shards of dreams I remember are full of torment and pain as well. One I can feel myself when awake and makes me so tired I can hardly keep my focus. But I must! I failed myself once, I could not save him.. will I be unable to do anything again?
I never took the sword again in my hand to wield it. It looks beautiful as it stands in the improvised sheath I made it, red and gold, as it happened to be the cloak I was wearing the day I took it. And it does make me recall the good days I saw it worn by my dear friend, he always did wear it, even when surroundings were safe enough for such weapon to look very out of place.. And now I know why and how dear it was to him..
“Beware.. the steel!..”
He warned me against it. Why?? He asked the others to take it to him yet beyond pain and torment he found the will to warn me.. Why?? Is it the sword he warns me against even? Or what? I lack pieces of this puzzle and I know no sure way to find them. So I will take the only way –as illogical as it might seem to me and the rest- and search again the place in my dream, even I know by now with painful clarity the shape of each rock in the cave. I hope Cirdamir returns soon..
“The steel.. the steel..”
