I envied Waelden for his ability to sleep. My mind was still more active than I wished as the small hours approached, but he slept as if he hadn’t a care. That was not true. After speaking with him of Isa, he had much to ponder. But his years as a Rider had taught him well. Precious sleep should be taken at any opportunity.
Watching the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, I reached out for a moment, tempted to trace the moonlight silvered scars he bore. I would heal him of them if I could. I would heal him of all wounds he bore. And was that not part of my dilemma? Some things were best left alone. Reminders of battles hard won, he wore them well, almost as trophies of Rohan’s courage and determination, as did many of our men folk, and no small number of women.
It was our ‘way’, it kept us a strong people, but I wished it need not be so.
~ ~ ~
Earlier that evening I had taken his hand and asked him to walk with me to the river side. It was a spot we often stood or sat in to simply watch the setting sun. He looked at me quizzically, knowing this was for more than general converse I sought.
So I told him simply that since my recent poisoning, I had lost Isa.
He had blinked a few times, his blue eyes shadowed, understanding it meant a lot to me, even if he didn’t understand it.
“Whatever has happened, will happen, you will always be my she-wolf. You know that?” He put his hands on my shoulders for a moment, then drew me to him in an attempt to comfort me. But he didn’t really understand. A good, honest man of the Mark, Waelden gave almost anything ‘unnatural’ a wide berth. He was happier dealing with the practicalities of what was before him to the ‘maybes’ of some form of shape shifting.
Yet he would support me through any trial. I had known he would from our earliest days together.
I tried a little more.
“I grow weaker, Greybeard. It’s as if she was my strength, and now that has ebbed to a low I have not known before.”
“Could it not still be from the poison?” he replied, seeming to be willing his own strength to me.
I shook my head. I doubt it. Even Northgyth does not fully understand what has happened. She likens it more to a curse,” I did not add that the curse had something to do with his sword’s creation. That could be kept a while from him. One step into such a mystery at any time for a Rohir in such matters.
He drew me close again, then turned me to face the sun, low and rose coloured on the horizon.
“I hope not. We already have one curse on my family. I would rather not have one on you.”
We watched in silence until the last pink - tinged clouds faded from sight. “A good day tomorrow,” I stated.
He snorted slightly. "Aye. weather wise at least. No strong winds or rain. But it will only be good if you tell me how I can help you. We will fight this together.”
How could Waelden help me, when I didn’t really know what was wrong?
“I think I may need to seek the curse giver? And I don’t think anyone here in Bancross has such abilities.”
“We,” he replied, as we both turned our backs on the darkened sky, and returned to our home. “We may need to seek the curse giver. We also need to speak with Ethel.”
So it was, when Ethel returned from her work in the forge, we explained to her as much as we could.
Her papa and I would be riding out for as long as it took. Most of the general work was already done. There was plenty of firewood already chopped and stacked, there was still dried meat and plenty of vegetables from the recent harvest, and we were certain Northgyth, Ymma and Hild would feed her extra. She could have Bronna come live in the house if she wanted.
“No, no, no!” was her reply. “I am coming with you.”
I noticed Waelden grin. Usually he would explain to his stubborn daughter why she could not do something. He just nodded.
Ethel picked up on that immediately. “I am not a child, you know.” she said, grinning back.
“That’s truer by the day, pumpkin.” With a ruffle of her hair, as he had done when she was a child, he stepped back to take a seat by the fire, and bid her sit down.
But he turned first to me.
“There are curses, but we also have Bema’s blessing on us, She-wolf. He sealed our future, I believe, and bid us bring aid to others. At that time Ethel was too young to be included.”
“I was 11 when we stayed over at Faldham that time,” the girl in question piped up.
“I know dear. Almost an adult. But not quite. “ I reached out a hand to Ethel, bidding her sit by my own seat near the fire, and gesturing I would braid her hair.
She chuckled. “I don't’ think I will ever be too old for that, mama.” Then she sat by my feet.
Nodding approval, and taking out his pipe, Waelden continued. “I think Bema would extend his charge and blessing to include you now, Ethel. We are a family, and until you choose otherwise, we go together, eh?”
Ethel nodded, well satisfied, and called Herne to come over to sit with us.
“When do we leave? Where are we heading?”
Both Waelden and I drew deep breaths. They were hard questions.
“We leave soon, within the next week if possible. Your mama is not growing stronger.”
Ethel reached back to lay a hand on my leg.
“Don’t worry, mama. Papa and I will look after you. I will tell Heartha tomorrow we must leave for a while. She won’t be happy, but she has enough folk to help her, what with Wigthegn still here. And Bronaa…..or Brinin may take over looking after Gamferth’s animals for a while.”
“‘Where’ we go is another matter, “ I ventured, my fingers still working on a more elegant braid than usual. “My feeling is to make towards Fangorn….”
“Where she who cursed my kin may dwell. You think it’s her?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know, Greybeard. “We don’t even know if that curse is real.”
Taking a few deeper draws on his pipe, Waelden eventually said “I think we go where Bema leads us? We can travel in many directions if need be. We must sort this out.”
“Can I tell Bronaa about it?” Ethel asked of a sudden.”I would like to have someone I can discuss it with, and she can keep a secret.”
Waelden and I exchanged glances.
“It’s best if you don’t, pumpkin. I don’t want any chance of Hild finding out. We don’t know yet who has caused this. We don’t want to give anything away.”
Ethel frowned for a moment, but her usual retort to something she was unhappy about never appeared. “So, we need a sort of excuse for leaving?” she suggested.
~ ~ ~
So it seems I take both my closest loved ones into danger. But at what cost?
Carefully, so carefully, I swung my legs out of the warm bed, and padded to the window, still brightly lit.
There she was, my wolf, standing on the brow of the hill near Duncadda’s house, silhouetted in silver moonlight, but frozen from coming close. She was looking at me as if she would tell me something of import. But all I could hear was the wind, whistling through the bare leafed trees.
