This is the journal of Elias Di
Personal thoughts of El
Journal of Elias Dimh
Personal log
Thought documentation
Private thought journal of
Social observation
Dear journal
I don't know how to start this.
It hasn't been long since I moved to this place but there have been many changes. For better or worse, I've yet to decide. I'm not sure why my brother crept into my thoughts, but I remembered him keeping a journal. Told me how it helped him gather his thoughts and work out personal problems. While he was never a smart man, I can see the logic in having a personal log, to reflect on things.
Mister Bíld and I talked, I questioned him about the log written and he
I met her in town, chipping hardened clay from her apron. We talked and I took her to the soothery to treat an ear infection. I didn't see her until a week later, when she was asked to return. The ear was better. After that, she began to come around more often.
I'm still not sure what happened in that time, but she took a fancy to me. Today, she claims to love me. Yet, she ended our courtship only to tell me that she wanted it to continue, to forget what was done. It's gotten confusing and I'm at a loss on how to proceed.
It's been a long time since I wished my brother was here. Even longer since I wanted his opinion and guidance on anything. He would have known better how to deal with this, he dealt with many women in his time.
She asked me things that I didn't know how to answer. How I felt around her, if I was only at peace around her, if it was different and if I had missed her.
- I sometimes feel calm around her, other times I'm tense.
- I've found certain peace around her, when she's not in a mood.
- I've nothing to compare to.
- I noticed that she wasn't around.
When I was unable to give her the answers she was hoping for, she suggested that I make an experiment, that I try to spend time with other women and see if it's the same or if it's different. More confusion.
She's ended the courtship and I had accepted it. Now, it changed. Things change too much, too quickly.
She has told me more than once that she loves me and still I feel this is untrue. Maybe not completely untrue, but what my brother would refer to as "Puppy Love". I recall many of his stories about such women in his life. Those that would know him for a short while, then proclaim their love for him, but never held it for too long if he didn't behave as they had envisioned. Is that's what has happened here?
This whole thing is stressful.
I took to her suggestion and asked another woman if she had interested in joining me for a private meal or a walk, much as I did with her. If I follow the same steps, maybe I'll have some answers.
I'll have to inquire about her favorite things, so that I may present her with it, such as I did with the first. A yellow flower and strawberry tarts, she liked both of those things.
The woman will not accept my offer fully until she's spoken with the other. I assume it's to get permission. Yet, this was her idea to begin with, but if it makes the other one comfortable, I'll not question the logic.
It was never meant to be this complicated.
