Might I have misjudged Veryacano?..
I ran today into Naruvir and an elf wearing the colors of my own order –Lossehelin- in the hallway of the house of Elrond. The elf had invitations to the Ball. I never imagined that even those accepted in the house of Vanimar needed an invitation! They are so formal, so stiff, so strange at times!.. Naruvir was delighted. She started to go on and on about the Ball of last year and about dresses (oh my favorite subject!) and dance and “the wonder of the moment”. She asked me if I was a “child of the woods” noticing my lack of interest but in such a equal tone that I was unsure what to make of it. In the context sounded almost offensive or I start to imagine things. I am proud of my family. I retained from frowning and wished for her in my mind to stumble on the next root in the forest while picking flowers and ruin her oh so elegant dress of Lothlorien fashion. That girl has such a style of posing and being condescending! She seemed to have forgotten completely the other day when she dismissed with very unkind words my good intention to help Aegledor and Veryacano reconcile. Today she was all smiling and except that remark she seemed to want to develop that conversation with me. I doubt we two will ever become friends but I should not hold a grudge against her, she seems to be annoying with her oh so studied apparel and words and pose without intention. Did I just fill a page about Naruvir? I intended to write of a completely different thing.
While I was talking to Naruvir Veryacano entered the hall. His garment was in disorder and stained with blood and worse and superficial wounds were proof he did not stay away from the heat of the battle. Between a waterfall of exclamations and questions from Naruvir he managed to tell in a few words that the forces of the free people were pushed back by a strong force of Orcs, that they had hard losses and retreated with difficulty to Glan Vraig.. and himself returned to rest and tend to his wounds. Even in defeat he is so imposing. I cannot believe that girl so bold as to talk to him as to an equal! Even wounded, tired and marked by the sadness of defeat one could see in him the greatness of other times.
I offered to get him some potions to make recovery faster and to my joy he accepted. I decided to use the occasion to find him alone and try to tell him about Daelith even I feread he will not accept to keep this secret, allow me to go or even listen to me in the first place. When I returned from the library where I had already prepared my stock of all possible potions that could be of use to Dae he was still talking to Naruvir downstairs. I decided to wait and started to search the best choice of words to get the answer I wanted. I have no idea when and how he appeared behind me and I almost dropped the bottles when hearing him so sudden.
“ I presume those are for me.”
So much for any prepared speech. I gave him the bottles, he inspected carefully the quality with the look of one who knows what to look for, he put them safe, thanked me politely and was preparing to leave and I was unable to decide what to say and how. I must have been ridiculous putting finaly together some “Err.. Mylord.. I have something that I wish to talk to you about”. He turned and waited.
“I know is bold of me to ask you such but I must ask you to keep to yourself what I am about to tell you, at least a while”
He frowned.
“What is this about?”
Yeah it sounded as stupid as some schoolgirl’s important confessions on her latest crush. I lost my courage even more but there was no way back.
“It is not my secret and this is the only terms I can tell you this”.
That was not much better but he nodded “Very well…”
I knew I’d better tell this fast and coherent or I was not going to get another occasion.
I had already the swan locket in my hand so I extended my hand and opened it. “I saw Daelith..”
“So it was really him..”
What?? He knew? Daelith I guess you are not that invisible..
“Why did he gave you this?”
Err… I don’t know. I don’t care. He’s alive and could use some help? You and your dubious concerns!
“I presume to have a reason to return after it one day? To meet at least one he knew. He lost all that day!!”
I retained from adding “And was your fault mostly!” But I knew he regretted. I poured into his ears the whole waterfall of concerns and thought I had from that day without choosing so much as I intended my words. That Daelith considers himself unworthy of the very light of the sun! That he is wounded almost beyond recognizing. That he told me some of those wounds did himself in despair as I never heard about of one of our kind. That I thought him about to loose his mind and in real danger. That I was on a very wrong trail in Lone Lands and that it is Moria the awful place Daelith chose to repent his mistake and endanger his life foolishly. Veryacano’s face was that of a statue. I could not read a reaction until he finally spoke.
“What you say sounds indeed worthy of concern. I will go find him and talk to him myself”
Well not exactly what I had in mind… but still good. Was up to Daelith to allow or not to be found by him, as I expected for myself. Even thinking how he appeared behind me with no sound of warning to this old warrior was more of a scout then met the eye. But I still thought I could do a better job. I told him in as carefull words as I found that I tried to convince Daelith to allow me to call Veryacano there when I saw him and that he refused. And that I wanted to give it a try in finding and helping him myself, leaving Earinlin’s expedition after I had done my part as I had no excuse not to follow the lord of my Order, unless he had any better idea that allowed me to leave sooner – I hoped he invented a secret mission of sorts and order me to leave but he did not. Was still a success he agreed to keep this secret as I advised. He thanked me for coming to him with this news. I could not read his face more than I ever could but I felt I was right to trust him in this. He knew to be more a friend then just the sword of law and severity. And for once I was proud and glad to know him a kin trough my mother. The greatest shield has no value if the is no heart to shield it beneath it. Except the fierce loyalty to Tur Anglachelm and Vanimar this was the first .. no.. second proof there was some kindness behind the solemn mask. The first was when he for once accepted he made a mistake and allowed me to search for Daelith but at the time I did not appreciate the rarity of such concession.
I promised to send word of my findings and he offered the same. And he promised with no further insistence from me to keep this secret. The great Veryacano agreed with me and shared my plan and trusted me enough to allow me to venture into Moria, where I have never been, alone, searching for a half-crazy elf that most probably did not plan in accepting some permanent company! He either trusted me more then I would have dare to believe or could not care less for my fate, or I was so very convincing. But in the end the blood of a family bound to defend the princes of the Eldar could not grow that thin within me! Will this be the first bold adventure of the life of a warrior? I surely was looking forward more to this quest, to bring light where darkness unjustly found its shelter, then to the Vanimar Ball that I was probably going to miss anyway for the depths of the darkest maze known to two races. I presume such thoughts would make vanish the kind efforts of Tur Anglachelm to make a lady of Vanimar out of me if he knew of.
*a flower of a playful design shows the good spirit this entry of the diary was finished in*
