Sleepless nights

I can’t sleep. I can barely shut my eyes without hearing the screams and seeing the faces. Now things are even worse, the cult made another appearance but went silent again, I need to stay wary however, on top of that I am needed away from Bree to find some people. They were also prisoners in Angmar once, I hope to hear what they know of Angmar now..I also heard they have some of their group who returned there to try and regain freedom for other prisoners, and I can’t help but think they will only be caught once again. If this proves to be true then I will have to make my way there. But new obstacles still arise..this woman, a farmer named Brandilyn, shows me so much kindness and I feel affection for her but in my past experiences, only harm comes to those who get close to me. She wishes to aid me and travel with my on my journies..it be nice to take her and be with her but this will be too dangerous, I can’t afford to put her in danger and if I tell her I am to leave, she will follow no doubt. So I shall leave with no word once more, I hope she will understand. I met Narys once more tonight, she is a very skilled archer and wanderer, she could help me greatly so I shall bring her so my search maybe swift and with that I can return to Bree faster..Ura also has returned, her guidance and view on life is something like a fresh rain during a drought. We differ on our views however of nobles..I can’t stand them, in the end they live the better life than most and treat others like less. I do not want my name associated with with them any longer. Ura informed me she was of noble blood, there are exceptions to it I suppose, Raevenhart, Ithelion and her are the only good ones I’ve met so far. There are exceptions to all groups but I will not change my view on the majority. Anyways Ura wished me to start forgiving myself, saying that one day I’ll remove my mask. I feel she doesn’t understand though..atleast not the extent. The people I killed, they still haunt me and I can never forgive myself for taking their lives for a selfish reason. She is very wise but maybe if she knew the extent, then she may have a different but of wisdom or outright resent me. This wouldn’t surprise me though, I am not the most  beloved, I am over it though. I could careless what others think of me in the end, as long as I am able to protect them or help them somehow. I should cease writing and start planning my route to find the group in the lonelands but..one last thing. Joe, Amanda’s brother. She took him for granted, resented everything about him. It hurt me to watch, what I’d do to see my brother once more..to be able to spend time with him and enjoy sometime together. I didn’t meet a man claiming to of had worked with him. Then I learned I am an uncle and never knew my niece. One day I will seek her out.. tell her the story of her father and the great man he was. I will cease my writing now.