Another day, another known face departed. I will see her some day. As I will my love. My lavender.
I am becoming desensitized to loss. Yes, this fresh revelation hurts me. I am to lose yet another. Even if I did not know her as well as I did others.
It is my curse to linger on this Middle-Earth, I have more than likely said before. While others wither and die, I linger on. Like a wight they so oft speak of to scare little children from venturing into the Barrow-downs. My soul unable to rest, unable to be at peace. Yet it is not for me to decide when my soul will be commended for judgement.
The fates decide, not I. I cannot sever the cord. I will die when they decree, for I wish to see my loved ones when I pass on. Not be denied entry to whatsoever lies on the other side through sheer cowardice of taking my own life. Still, who am I to truly know what they think. Perhaps it is brave to go out on your own terms.
But I will not give up. I will follow the road, until I reach the end.
Under a pale pink and painted tree, green fields. Blue skies, there rests the one I loved so dearly.
I will visit her, and I will stay a while. I will talk to her. I will see you soon my love.
Her father said he will not seek vengeance for it is not a path to be trod. I am not so sure what course to take. Vengeance surely is a never-ending spiral of death. It is this which fuels my desire to kill. The anger buried within my heart. The dilemma lingers further. As does my captive. She is an inescapable victim now, surely. I can't bring myself to do it though. This girl, she and I could have been friends under differing circumstances. She never have needed known. Might have been had I reacted with good humour and brushed aside her moronic brother's taunts.
