"'un! Two! Three... err.. Four!”, the man sang out as he hopped back and forth four times, grinning widely as he looked to the chicken behind him. “C'mon! Ya can do it! Its easy!”
Magpie, in his white and black tunic, was jumping about the courtyard of Combe while his newly found friend watched on. His.. or her.. dark beady eyes looking in confusion as the man tripped and slammed his face into the ground with a groan. Bobbing over with the stride of a pompous man, clucking away as they hopped onto the neck of the local troublemaker and fool.
"BUKWAAAK!”, screamed out Cluckington the Seventh as their wings flapped out and their deadly beak met the back of Magpie's head, making him yelp and get up and start running with his coat tails between his legs! Panting on the incline that led to the gates, looking behind him to not only see the chicken but Swanson!! Honking and hissing before giving chase!
Minutes passed before the Magpie got distracted.. there it was.. the most second beautiful thing he has ever seen – after the lasses in the Pony of course -, just sitting there on a windowsill. A shining tankard.. made of the finest silver this side of the Brandywine.. just there for the taking! Though the only problem was.. the dreaded climb!
The old five story building stood large in Bree, known as one of the buildings that the richer rent out to others. Grinning widely and snatching some rope and an axe, he looked upwards before slamming the axe into the wooden beam, before finding a ledge for his foot to go onto. Taking a few attempts before his boot felt sturdy enough on the top, he then swung the rope up to get it into the first window.
Pulling on the rope, he started to pull himself up.. until the rope came back down!! It seems it didn't magically latch like he saw that one person do that one time in his dreams.. he shrugged before reached up awkwardly to try and get there, frowning as his fingers just couldn't get there! So he hopped down from his small ledge and saw the answer!
He positioned the ladder he found, before climbing up and falling into the first window and looked up with a wide grin.. that only grew wider as he noticed he had disturbed a fair maiden bathing!
"It must be me lucky day..”, he said as he started to unbutton his tunic and make his way to the tub until a shriek was let out and THWACK!! A coal poker hit him across the cheek.. THWACK, THWACK!! The poker struck again, this time on his rear, as the fair maiden fought back the handsome Magpie, shoving him out the room with another poke 'at the logs' again, leaving Magpie rubbing his arse as he made his way up another two floors.
Swinging the door open again, he stopped wide eyed at something no Magpie should ever have to see.. closing the door again as the noise of a creaking bed filled his head, making him feel sick as he ran to the final floors! This time peeking through the door, he swung it open as he saw it.. the mug!
Creeping over as stealthily as possible, even though the room was empty, he came to the window and let out a squeal of delight! Lifting the tankard up and giving it a big sloppy kiss to its shiny surface!
Music came to his ears, as he swung around in circles with his tankard. Imagining himself in a field of daises, as everything moved slowly.. just him and the tankard spinning in circles while a high pitched voice sang away about some tulips that needed to be tip toed in! Everything was perfect!... until..
The lute string broke and the door burst open, and in the doorway stood someone Magpie recognized greatly. A watcher with graying mutton chops and balding hair, tired wrinkles marking his face but soon they turned into a scowl as he recognized the man in his room.
"Magpie..”, he grizzled out, “What the feck are ye doing in my room?!”
"Err... I was kidnapped! Aye! By... chickens! Wild thin's they are.. 'ave to be careful o' 'em! Wanna know 'ow I got these scars?!”, Magpie pointed to the one on his face, not much. “From a chicken!”
The watcher just stared at Magpie blankly before he reached for his shackles at his waist, grumbling and cussing about the nuisance. Starting to head over, one of his gloved hands reaching for the waistcoat of Magpie. In panic, Magpie dashed to the window before climbing out of it!! Though he couldn't move very far..
Looking up, he saw it.. his best pair of leggings stuck on a nail, with him still in them. Looking about as the pain of the wedgie set in, his face contorting as his legs kicked back and forth though to no avail! He got no where, until he heard something rip. Suddenly he plummeted downwards into a haypile, his mug falling from his hand and being nabbed by Swanson who was waiting underneath!
Magpie didn't take a second thought and started to run.. only to turn around and see Cluckington the Seventh chasing him, gaining ground fast! And so he ran, for second after second, without leggings as the chicken pecked away at his bottom! One day.. that mug shall be his!
