What else could I possibly write about when his essence clouds the entirety of my thoughts? I miss him when he isn't around. My heart is fluttering and how could I ignore clammy palms? Is this normal? I am certaintly fond of this Alekay Darrowfeld, I cannot and shall not deny it any longer.
It had not once met my mind and yet now I think of breathless kisses and taking care of the man that has so facilely tucked himself in an exclusive (and untouched) crevice of my heart. It is unsettling. I want him to heal, I want him to not feel the weakness of a fresh wound yet what will happen when this comes? He says I caught him in a time when he felt so vulnerable, too feeble to keep up his jaunty facade - that this might have not happened - so what then, when his strength returns?
And he thinks I'm beautiful. How could anyone? Me? Gracious, no. I've caught myself looking at my reflection trying to see what he sees and time and again I am caught empty handed. All I see is--well, I won't write on that. Not today.
I miss Reffas.
This feeling is so new. I am exposed and uncomfortable--yet smitten all the same. I wish my mother was here to shed some light. I wish I understood, or at least could put my finger on it--put this feeling into words.
And I miss Reffas. Where is Reffas?
The restless feeling does not cease.
