A new journal from the market, my old one is lost along with all my other possessions.
Where do I begin... so much has happened. I dont think I can even write it all down, I like not to think of it. But it returns at night, every night the horrid dreams haunt me. I dare not to sleep at midnight, so I catch up some sleep here and there. Bema and Nahar be blessed, thanks to my brother and Wulfreda I am still alive. I was brought to a lodge in Chetwood forest where a lass tended to my wounds. As this lodge there are a lot of people running in and out, so I am often found at the house of my brother in a quiet part of Bree.
Thoughts crossed my mind she had forsaken me, but I was never so wrong. Wulfreda has not forgotten me, her love for me is still as strong, maybe stronger, as when we left Bree. Have I not led them all to their doom on that mountain? Still she is loyal to me, against all odds. Although time is still limited, we have the chance to finally be together here. Can we actually live a normal life in Bree? Both my brother and Wulfreda look quite content in Bree and are doing well for themselves. My brother seems to be tired of battles and is working around his house and enjoying the early days of spring. Wulfreda is equally busy with her new found lodge, a very decent place it seems to become. I can not be involved too much as I need to get myself together. I try to hide it, but my last 'adventure' has taken a heavy toll. My body is slowly recovering from the lack of food, drink, hope and the exhausting battles to keep myself alive. The mental scars however, do not heal so easily. Every time I find myself in solitude in the forest or sitting quietly near the waters edge, I relive all the days spent in captivity. I often think of Frerick, he was my only friend there in Dunland.
Why do I always feel responsible for other peoples fate? Is it just my character, do I care too much? I need to let go of the dead, my friends and family that have passed, just let them go. I must try to remove this unbearable burden.
There on the wall. A green banner with a white horse, the symbol of Rohan. My brother takes good care of this little piece of heritage, a little piece of our true home. I can still feel the desire to return. A land in war and turmoil, a land that needs me. A king that needs me. And maybe lost family that needs me. I will return. Frerick told me the king ordered to reclaim the gap, I must try the gap route again. Through Dunland... no not again. But I have no choice, I must do this. I will have to prepare, get in good shape, train and recover. I must be ready and leave Bree before the next winter arrives.
But for now I think I will just enjoy my favorite season, here in Bree; spring.
