Diary of Fallidir : The pain of forgetting - entry three

((a pre-entry OOC warning: Do be aware this entry contains depression of the character. If you do not like this, I do sugest you do not read this entry. Thank you.)) ~Date is only noted as December I cannot sleep, every time I close my eyes, I still see those horrid images flashing before me. But I feel the whole thing is getting easier to bear, and even the feeling in my legs is begining to come back. I know it would not seem much to say I can now wiggle my big toe, but at this time it is an accomplishment. I feel now, the true lonelyness that I have earned over the years. In all this time, none have come to see me and [next word is heavily underlined] none even care, nor do they know. I guess it is for the best, that I am alone... I think from the images I see, tells me this. That anyone I get close to... gets hurt, or dies. I have never seen myself as a bad person, I used to pride myself in risking my own life to save others whom I did not even know, but I never really thought of it before. That the reason why nobody has come, is because... nobody cares, not at least since my wife left. I do not even have that many freinds, and then with the few I have I do something to push them away, even my oldest freinds rarely speak to me now... I guess I must be a bad person and the images are some kind of... punishment? I do not know what to think of this theory at the moment, but it shames me if it is to be true. The sun will rise soon, and I should attempt to rest...