Alvey

I do apologise my dear diary. Life happened. You get used to it. Probably. Anyway, despite the absense stuff has been happening. The usual really. Getting meself beaten up, drinking meself stupid and generally doing sod all in life. I seem to have ended up back with Alvey again and I'm not entirely sure how this happened. He turned up and may have guilt tripped me into getting with him again. Well, I don't think it was intentional guilt tripping anyway.

I woke myself up screaming again last night. Every night the nightmares get worse! There's the traditional nightmare where I stand there and my brother advances towards me with a knife in his hand. My parents watch us to one side, silent at first and then they burst out into encouragment to my brother, urging him to knife me or whatever. He doesn't need the encouragment...he comes striding towards me, an evil glint in his eye and I try to run but my feet just wont move! I scream to my parents but they just wont help me!

I do wish that good things came alongside the bad things rather than having all the bad things happening at once followed by all the good things although I guess having it that way around proves that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. I've had such a rough time of late - its been building up for months but I finally think that I'm turning a new leaf and things are starting to get happier which is brilliant of course!