A few days back now, probably about a week, I met a man in the inn of Bree. I recognized him, not by looks but by the way he acted and the energy his prescence filled the room with, from one of the men who were prescent that time before I spoke to Cyfier. It was Cyfier, Zaeh and this one more man, a man who I believe attempted to knock me out but was stopped.
Back then, in the inn, we started speaking, and I very unsubtly asked him "Are you not one of Cyfiers men?"
He instantly reacted by taking me into private, very threatingly wanting to know why I accused him of such. As he denied my accusations I simply let it go, believing that he was telling me the truth and I more or less just apoligized and left it.
Not long after, in the very same inn, a man would come to tell me that the man I had spoken to, apparently named Julian, was indeed often seen in the company of Cyfier and his men. And then my suspicions rose, I realized that this man most probably had lied to me. What I couldn't understand was why. If he was the person I claimed him to be, he should know I was of no threat and had no intentions what so ever to go against him. If he was indeed not then why would he be so hostile, more then once threatening to take my life for what I claimed?
Then, eventually, I met him again earlier today. Struggling to gain strength and confidence I gathered courage and told him what I thought. That I knew he had lied to me and he was indeed the one I had claimed him to be. As I spoke he instantly repeated what had happened last time and made me follow him outside, bringing me to just outside town where the risk of anyone seeing us was at the very minimum. He asked me what made me accuse him, again, and I simply told him the truth. Many times during the conversation did he point out my unsubtlety and how he should just take my life and get it over with. I was terrified all the way through but did my best to not show it, which I at least hope I did well enough. I could waste time explaining how he threatened me repeadetly, how he attempted to force me into obeying him and how he kept denying my words... But that's not what matters. What matters is how he changed during it. How, as he was attempting to force me back to Bree with him, suddenly seemed to care. I had given up by then. My strength was fading, both physically and mentally, and I think I even started crying right there in front of him. I ended up crying my heart out, telling him how I am only involved with all of this for the sake of others and how I could not possibly have seen such an outcome to my actions. Which is when he said it.. A short phrase that made me realize who he truly is.
"Do we understand each other?"
"I don't know. Do we?"
"I am doing things I might not want to do, to eventually get what I want. It seems you do the same."
Then and there my opinion of this vicious, threatening man changed copletely. I realized that whoever he is, Julian or not, he's acting the way he is for a greater good. But it's not him. Who I saw for those brief minutes is who he is, and who I hope to see permanently one day.
After ages of struggles to go against his command for me to go back to Bree with him, to remove any suspicion against him for taking me away, I just got up and hooked my arm in his and walked back to the inn.
He warned me that the next time I meet him he will most probably behave as he have before, defensive, rude and whatnot. But no matter what he does from now on, if my paths will ever come to cross with this man again, I know who he truly is. I don't know who he is for sure, if he actually is Julian or not, but I do like the calm and honesty of that name... Kept to myself, kept here, either that is his name or not; that shall be what I call him.
Ithilwien
