I looked at the letter in my hand, my tears pouring over the paper, that with a soft plap landed on the Parchment.
I looked over at his words, "I fear becoming too close to one soul again." What did he mean by this? Was his loss so great that he was incapable of feeling true Love?
Alas, the pain was to great.
I looked over at the letter once again, my anguish, and I let out a soft wail. They often told me that Elves who married late, had... strange fates. I did not know why it was so, but I felt myself falling as I threw myself onto the bed, crying.
I was a fool, I hated myself for choosing so rashly, for failing to see the complexity of it all. Was this truely love, or just a mockery of admiration? A mockery, so great, that it imitated love, but was still.... imitation. I surveyed my belongings, and walked over to my mirror. I was unkempt, tears flowing through my face.
It did not hurt, to know that he knew, but it stinged, to know that I could never look at him the same way before, when I was rescued.
I scribbled down an answer on the parchment, hastily:
"Taramthir,
I am sorry, but surely you cannot expect me to recover so quickly? I fear I must take a step backward, and loosen myself from the bounds of this pain. I do not think I shall ever look at you the same way again before my hurts are healed. I have recently recovered, but now I feel I must nurse my hurts.
I do not know whether it was a great mockery of love, or indeed love at all. Do not pity me, for I have no desire to be pitied at all.
I am sorry that I must remind you of the great pain you have endured at the sailing of the family. I know I cannot turn your mind to other things, but only know this: Do not be afraid to grow too close to someone, lest you lose the joy of family. I shall make sure you do not make the same mistake as I did, when I held the tale of Beren and Luthien in my hand and discarded it, never to feel any joy again.
Daerundros"
When I sent it off, I threw myself on the bed and cried until I feel asleep.
Alas I must try to give up, but I shall still have the hope.
