Tuesday, December 5th, 3019. Hullo again, journal. Due to my busy schedule as a popular and important country gentlehobbit, I have decided that I shall primarily write in this journal every Tuesday, safe for perhaps certain special occasions. In these entries I shall speak about the different occurrences of what had happened throughout my week. Now the most difficult part in writing these entries is how do I begin?
When I last wrote in this journal it was November the 22nd, my thirty-eighth birthday. As I stated previously, it was a splendid success. After my birthday, on the following day I had decided to treat myself to an extravagant gift and I had gone down to the city of Bree, with my pony Acfred, and I purchased a brand new and very attractive looking caravan. It was ever so much better than my last caravan. Before Acfred and I were going to go for a ride around the region, I took my my caravan and Acfred and brought them down to the Bree marketplace and there I purchased what was more or less a feast, that I could store in my caravan. Browsing and buying all of that food had made me hungry, so I decided to stop by the Prancing Pony Inn for a nice lucheon before I returned back to my cart. After my devouring my luncheon, Acfred and I gallivanted about the countryside of Bree and we eventually we traveled back towards the city and then we camped out by our caravan under the stars nearby the south gate of Bree. All and all it was a nice day.
The next day, Thursday, my dear friend, Ronol and I met up for afternoon tea at Furryfoot Hall. Fairworth had really outdone himself on the tea he brewed. Fairworth for as long as I've known him, which has been my whole life, really, has always been an expert tea maker. I do not know how he does it. I make a good spot of tea myself, but nowhere near as grand as Fairworth's. Anyhow, Ronol and I sat and drank some tea and ate some biscuits and we spoke about the state of Shire these days. It was a charming conversation. I've always had a mind for politics so these kind of conversations are one of the many areas that I excel in. Ronol is quite brilliant himself though as well. After we had finished our afternoon tea, I had invited Ronol to stay for dinner and supper, but he was unable to make that commitment. so I decided that I was going to cook my own dinner that evening. I cooked supper for Faithworth and myself. Now, being the selfish and kindhearted chap that I am, I cooked Fairworth's favourite meals, fish and chips, cheddar soup, roast chicken, roast beef, with large helpings of mashed potatoes, along with a few glasses of wine for the of us. It was a smashing dinner. However, for supper I had my regular cook prepate that for myself. I was too tired after all of those glasses of wine to prepare another meal myself.
Now, on Friday Ronol and I went to the Green Dragon Inn in the evening for a few pints and a few laughs. Upon entering the Green Dragon Inn, I found that there were almost no people from my social circle in there on this particular evening. So, I was without a doubt the best dressed chap in the entire inn. Which, of course, is always a lovely feeling. I am often told that I overdress but in my opinion a majority of people underdress. If one is going to attend any type of social gathering why not attend the said gathering in your finest attire? Anyhow, I drank seven pints and after guzzling down the pints I do not quite remember the events that partook afterwards. I must've fallen asleep. I was rudely awakened when Ronol splashed a cup of water in my face. A simple and gentle nudge would have sufficed. Anyhow, Ronol was at least kind enough to help me back onto my feet and help me return to my abode. It was a very fun evening. Unfortunately, the hangover on the following day was absolutely horrendous.
On Saturday, I spend a majority of the day, afternoon, and evening in my bed, with one of the worst hangovers I have ever had in my entire life. Poor Fairworth had to clean up my vomit at least four times on that dreadful day. I was planning to invite Ronol and Fairworth on a picnic that day. Along with a leisurely sail in my boat. But alas, I was stuck in bed. I could barely hold down a meal. I surprisingly even turned down my second breakfast. I was fortunately able to eat the rest of the meals in the day. However, for the most part, I spend the day bedridden. It was fairly uneventful. I did have Fairworth read a couple childhood books of mine that he used to read to me when I was a boy. I quite fancied that. I do miss my childhood often. I especially miss playing with my parents. They were often too busy to play with me, but when they did, it was magical. I do not know how I will ever be able to live up to their reputation in the Shire.
Sunday was a much better than Saturday, for obvious reasons. I was finally able to plan that picnic with Ronol and Fairworth. We feasted upon beans on toast, toad in the hole, roast mutton, and beer and onion soup. We washed down our delightful lunch with a few glasses of my finest wine. Seventy-two years old! When I proposed that we go for a sail out on the river I was disappointed and rather cross that both Ronol and Fairworth insisted that I should not be the one sailing. Ronol insisted that we go to his house and use his boat. He claimed it was in better condition than the SS Sea Time due to the damage it took during my birthday. He once again claimed it was my fault that the accident happened, which I informed him, once again, that it was an accident and that I had no way to prevent it. Eventually, after a bit of arguing here and there from Ronol, Fairworth, and myself, I had kindly and selflessly allowed Ronol to sail us on his vessel. The three of us went down to Ronol's house and we climbed aboard his boat and he sailed us around the riverbank. It was actually rather nice. Well, nice until I accidentally lost my balance on the boat and then fell into the river. It was quite embarrassing. Ronol and Fairworth kept mocking me for that as well. Aside from that unfortunate accident, it was a wonderful day.
Now Monday on the other hand, was not a good day by any means. I was out with my pony, Acfred for a ride in my brand new caravan in the countryside of the Shire when Acfred must have gotten spooked by something and he turned and pulled myself and my cart into Mariwig Broadfoot's farm and my cart smashed into his chicken coop. Fortunately none of the chickens were harmed, however, they did escape from the farmland. Mr. Broadfoot was not happy to say the least. Unfortunately for me, he is a rather high ranking member of the bounders. He yelled at me for a little while and he lectured me as well. He also demanded that I pay for the repairs to his chicken coop and he also insisted that I help him go and catch the chickens that had escaped his farmland. Of course he did not show even the slightest sympathy or concern for my caravan, which had been damaged as well. Although to be fair, he did make sure that Acfred was alright. But he did not ask if I was alright. He is a bit of a rude chap at times. That is how I spent most of my Sunday, helping a farmer chase after chickens until the evening. He refused to let us stop and eat dinner until the chickens were caught. Mr. Broadfoot made me pay a fine for reckless caravanning and property damage. The fine was around thirty pieces of silver. I also ended up haibg to pay him fifty silver coins and twenty-five copper coins for the repairs to his chicken coop. Thankfully, I am quite wealthy so it should not affect my finances very much.
Now, today as I stated before is Tuesday, December 5th. I had Fairworth go and obtain the newspaper for me when I had awoken and thankfully, my accident involving Mr. Braodfoot's chicken coop was not recorded as of now. So, that already put me in good spirits. Mr. Jollybelly prepared me an incredible breakfast consisting of sausages, extra crispy bacon slices, poached eggs, scrambled eggs, beans on toast, and a large honey nut cake. Along with five cups of black coffee.
I sent Fairworth down into town to find me a cartwright to repair my caravan. After I sent Fairworth out, I ate my second breakfast, which consisted of scones, toast with marmalade coated on both sides of the toast, rice pudding, and extra crispy bacon slices, once again. I drank five more cups of black coffee with my second breakfast as well.
After I had finished my second breakfast, I put on clothing that would be appropriate for going out for a sail and then I went out to my docks, and I just had remembered that I did not repair the damage to the SS Sea Time from when I had gotten into that accident in it during my birthday. However, it only appeared to be mild so I climbed into my boat, and I set out for a sail along the riverbank. However, as bad luck would have it, my boat had begun to sink while I was sailing in it. I attempted to sail her back to my docks, but unfortunately she began to sink faster and faster, until eventually she was submerged underwater and I was rescued by a group of fishermen. Much to my embarrassment, one of the fishermen was Waldebert Broadfoot, Mariwig Broadfoot's son. No doubt Mr. Broadfoot would hear about this and have a laugh at my expense. I walked back homeward and I was able to make it back to Furryfoot Hall just in time for elevenses. As I feasted upon my elevenses, which consisted of lemon tea cake, strawberry shortcake, and ten blueberry muffins. Along with five cups of that lovely finely spiced Gondorian tea, I had spoken about on my birthday entry.
As I was finishing eating my elevenses, Fairworth had arrived back home with the cartwright. The cartwright instantly went to work on my caravan and I went to the kitchen to prepare elevenses for Fairworth as gesture of kindness. I am quite the thoughtful chap, aren't I? I prepared Fairworth four ham and cheese omelettes, a large bowl of mushroom soup, poached eggs, scrambled eggs, and some hard-boiled eggs. I also poured five cups of the same spicy Gondorian tea for Fairworth as well. Fairworth ate almost all of it, and I ate whatever he did not finish.
After Fairworth had finished his elevenses, I had him go out and oversee the progress that the cartwright has been making on my caravan. I went into my study and I sat down at my desk, got myself a sheet of parchment, grabbed a quill, and I began to write a song. I named it "An Ode to Theudo Furryfoot, Esquire." Many famous folk often have songs that are written about them. Since no one has offered to write a song about me, I felt I might as well write one myself. About myself. I sat there and wrote and wrote and wrote until I saw on the clock that it was one o'clock. So I left the study and went into the dining hall and had my lunch. The cook had prepared me tomato soup, mushroom soup, vegetable soup, along with shepherd's pie, eight turkey legs, a large cream cake, and a few mugs of ale to wash it down with for lunch. I did feel that this lunch was a bit lighter than usual.
By the time that I had finished my lunch, the cartwright had finished the repairs on my cart. I paid the fellow twenty pieces of silver for the repairs and he went on his way and I went to go and get Acfred and harness him to the traces of my cart and set off for a ride throughout the countryside again, except this time I'd carefully avoid going anywhere near Mr. Broadfoot's farm. Once I successfully had Acfred harnessed to the traces of the cart, after that stubborn pony put up a fight again, we set off on a leisurely ride. We rode to Ronol's house where I had stopped for a spot of afternoon tea. I knew he'd be preparing for afternoon tea around that time and I knew he'd be excited for me to stop by unannounced for a few cups of tea. That poor chap must've been bored before I came over. Although, he oddly seemed somewhat annoyed at something while I was there. I asked him what was bothering him but he refused to tell me what it was.
After I had finished my spot of afternoon tea with Ronol, I invited him on a ride through the Shire. It took some convincing on my part but he eventually agreed to go with me for a ride. Although, I must admit, he is a bit of a difficult person to ride with. He constantly complained about how I was driving my cart. He was acting as if I was going to get us killed. He demanded that I stop the cart and drop him off where we were. I did so and he went on foot from there. I think he was secretly jealous that I was driving the cart and he was merely the passenger. Oh well, what is one to do?
Acfred and I rode all the way to Michel Delving and upon arriving there, I had parked my caravan in a safe area and I took Acfred to a stable where was able to get a meal of his own. I then went into the Bird and Baby Inn for dinner. Usually I would list my meal in depth, but I apparently had one too many pints and some silly fellow made a complaint about me so the bounders put me in a jail cell and they had charged me with some ridiculous "public nuisance" charge. I was furious! The worst part of it all was the sorry excuse for supper that they had given me in the cell. A small helping of rabbit stew, a few measly slices of roast chicken, and a pitifully small serving of salad with hard-boiled eggs. They only allowed me to drink a few glasses water.
Currently, it is eleven o'clock at night. I was informed that one of the bounders had left the office to go and inform Fairworth of my whereabouts. The bounders have told that they are keeping me in the cell over night and in the morning they will allow me to go get my pony and my caravan and return home. After I pay yet another fine of course! I am glad that I have brought my journal on me today. I had planned to write an entry while stargazing outdoors. But I suppose this will have to do. I do hope that my night in the jail cell does not make it into the newspaper.
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