((neatly penned in Lumi-kieli))
G has not been back, or left a letter for me or any word, since that one night he was briefly in the Pony after coming back from his trading journey. I definitely need to talk to him. I had been thinking that I could just keep Nalle at bay but I cannot. And I cannot pretend I can. And it is only fair that he knows that. We need to figure out what happens next. Of course if he keeps not being there, there is going to come a day, maybe soon, where I decide that means he has given up his rights to woo me, and that will make a simple end of a difficult situation. But I will not do so unfairly swiftly, just because of what it felt like when she held me, up on the hill-top after we had gone for a walk and then she showed me her other self. (It is not really an other self but I do not know what to call it.)
I know that it is not fair because it is so easy to daydream about her and hope to see her, when, since we are not wooing, I am not testing her, testing us, whether we fit together. But I cannot help but feel that if I were asking those questions, testing her, I would come to the same answer; that I want to be with her. That I even knew it that first day, when Miss Faye revealed to me what her name means (I feel so dumb to have not realized all this time), and when I was so stung when she rejected me. (I still am not sure why. I should ask her. Perhaps that would be a wooing test.) But I cannot stop thinking about her and hoping every time the door opens it will be her coming through.
Reminders:
- learn from Egfor about meatless dishes (my meat dishes have not sold well, but then nothing has, especially with Nathan and others staying in the private places in the back of the inn instead of coming to the pub -- I miss them, but it is not my place to intrude when they have sought out privacy)
- ask Butterbur if he has decided about forgoing Suojelija's inspections since she has been passing them for almost a moon (has he talked to Bob?)
- try a slower render for the boar fat for making candles (after I hear back from Syllea,
Ruevir, Aellwenn, Dem, Egfor,Eiraabout how the soap worked -- who else can I give some to? Nathan and Kelpie if I see them, Ellie but I never see her anymore) - find good pieces of dark leather for the bracelets I am making for G and Nalle
- play the song for G and Nalle (Haleron and Eira liked it)
- buy some paints and try doing some painting (charcoal is so hard to work in!)
- talk to Elias about donating the gold penny I got from the murderer
- talk to G about Nalle
((added later, when names were crossed out above))
Ruevir said the soap worked well on washing clothes. (It is strange that we are almost friends now, after her apology. I think I went too far yesternight by touching her shoulder. The Bree-väki are so averse to touch.) I will try it myself in a few days when I do laundry. I need to try another batch with lavender once I get some from Mister Egfor. I wonder if I will be able to sell soap and candles and lantern oil. Since someone left me a whole gold penny as a tip, I have spent a lot of it on the pots and bowls and guild access, but I am hoping it will eventually pay itself back. But if it does not I will still make enough to pay rent and supper from my working for Mister Butterbur. More soon, too, if my cooking sells more!
Eira also liked the soap. Was able to give some to Nathan too.
