Found:
It's noon now. I'm sat in the little outdoor area of the Trestlebridge tavern. I realise that this meal of mine should be lunch, but really it's more like breakfast. I didn't stop to eat along the way, nor did I wait long enough for food before striking camp.
I left him there before dawn, as has always been my way. Some might view it as a cruelty to not say goodbye, but it seems to me that such a thing is unnecessary. He knew I'd be leaving in the morning. He knew the why and where. It is not alike my departure will be a surprise.
I find myself thinking back over these past few days. Secrets and revelations. Worse still, feelings. I hate talking about them. I despise opening myself up to such an extent. Better to listen to others drone on about their own than share mine. But he was insistent and I... I suppose I needed to get some of it out, at least.
My rational mind tells me that there's little point in trying to hide it from him anyway. The man is far too perceptive; he's not always right, of course, but he is often close enough as makes little difference.
My irrational mind tells me to bury them deeper. Hide them. He can't have them. He has no right. They are not curiosities for his perusal nor toys for him to play with. They are mine.
The man has wormed his way in somehow. I don't think he even meant to, or wanted to, but did so all the same. An accident. That says it all, really, doesn't it?
Still, there are upsides to this, I suppose. He seems more willing to tell me of his own thoughts and feelings - sometimes more than he had meant to do, I think. I like that. I like the way he sees the world. It is fascinating to listen to him speak of his perceptions; things that I will never see or feel for myself, but that I wholly believe he sees and feels. I want to know more. I want to hear more. I want to understand... at least insofar as I can.
I got my kukri back. He is currently in possession of my mother's necklace; a promise of my return. I also gave him exactly what he asked for earlier in the week; something to remember me by. From the way he looked at it, either the man has never before received a gift or he didn't quite believe that it was meant for him. He may even have been trying to discern its value for later sale. I told him that it's his to do with as he pleases, so I guess we'll see what he does about it.
For now, though, I need to turn my mind from him and them. Someone else lies before me, or at least what's left of him. I'll reach that place by sunset and then...
I can't hold onto this anger anymore. I can't keep blaming him. I have to let him rest peacefully, without any ill-thoughts or feelings of mine to disturb his unending slumber. I need to forgive him for leaving me behind, for dying, for causing me so much pain. I need to forgive myself for keeping to my promise, for making it in the first place, for not following him, for not being there to help him. I need to stop hating him, and me, for what happened.
It's time to let it go.
