Found:
It's been a while.
Silence. Solitude. Time to reflect and adjust. I needed these things and, to a degree, I found them upon the shores of my Evendim island. Of course, business also provided a welcome distraction and there is never a shortage of that in those lands for me. I return to Bree more wealthy than before, not that this has ever really mattered to me. Coin can be so burdensome at times.
What I really need, what I really want, can never be bought. Not for all the gold in Arda.
I'd like to say that my time away has made me feel better. I'd like to say that I'm over the heartache, the trauma, the pain, and loss... but I can't. Perhaps, if nothing else, I can say that I am now more accustomed to it. That will have to do.
Returning to Wolfhaven, I find that little has changed. I still despise entering that cold and empty house. I never much liked the place before I lost him. I utterly abhor it now. A reminder of what was, what could have been, of what I had and what is now gone. So, I packed up the few things I might want to keep and turned right back around.
Some might think it a step backward for me to return to sleeping in my tent, but it always brought me comfort. Some might think it regressive to return to a more simple and nomadic existence, but I was happier back then.
So, I camp where I want, when I want. I come and go as I please. It was always my way. I can breathe easier, and that is relief enough to find a way forward.
The first step has been taken; rid myself of that abominable pile of stone. To that end, I visited Beggars Alley last night. I recalled a small family that I had slipped coin to on occasion - a partially paralyzed father, a hard-working but penniless mother who gives her all to taking care of her husband and children, and three small, sweet kids. They own the house now. I hope it will serve them better than it did me.
Soon, when I can face the inevitable questions, I'll go into town again and find the people I care for, few as they may be.
