"I'm singin'.... in the rain...Just singin'.. in the rain. What a glorious feeling....I'm happy again. I'm laughing at clouds. So dark up above...The sun's in my heart...And I'm ready for love."
So much pain. Focus on the stitches of the tapestry. Focus on that and not the pain. Singing in the rain. Pretty much what I need to start doing. With the battle coming up, everyone is going to start getting nervous. Anxious. I need to sing even with the clouds above and the rain pouring down. Clouds, Orcs, all the same. I wonder what I can do to make everyone forget for a night? Brunan is sound asleep. Lovely lass has kept me company all morning. She woke up. Perked up really fast. I wonder why? What is is Brunan? Heriwulf!! I was wondering why he wasn't in bed when I woke up. Must have had errands.
Do I remember the Moot, he asks? Not a thing. A huge blur. Please tell me I didn't embarrass myself. Last time I got this blackout drunk due to feverfew I ended up dancing topless in a fountain in Rivendell. No topless dancing! Yes! They spoke of the battle plan. I am assigned to treat the wounded in the stockade with River-Wader as my assistant, some warriors to protect us, and some strong back to carry the wounded to us. I can do that. They spoke of me joining the clan! And I was out of it! No!! He talked them into thinking about it until I was sober enough to comment. Oh, I love that man!
Seems I spoke Sindarin, had a ravenous appetite for mushrooms, and flirted with Scarlett Jay and him. Embarrassing. To blatantly flirt with another in front of your lover. He doesn't mind. Says that is part of who I am. Can he get any more perfect!?! He is my favourite person in the whole world!! I am so lucky he wasn't already taken or remarried when I met him. Would he ever marry again? Not that I am ready. I am not. But would he? Would he ever want to marry and have children? Maybe we should talk about that? Oh, I am so not ready for this sort of thing, but if we are lovers, we should talk about children. I am young. He is of an age where it is still possible. Ok, Leo, bring it up. Courage!
He would marry again. Interesting. He thought when I asked about a puppy the other day I was talking about having children. How did he react then? He was calm, but didn't seem to hate the idea. Would he really want a little one? With me? Why am I even thinking about this? I am not ready for marriage, I must not be ready for little ones. A puppy, yes. A child, certainly not. Right? Right. Right? Why do I think of these things when I am with him? Never thought about children since I was seven and ten and found myself with child thanks to a drunken night with a lad from Dale. Never thought of marriage. Of wanting to marry anyone until now. Wait! WHAT?! You do not want to get married. Freedom, remember?
Would I feel any less free being married to Heriwulf? What would change? We already live together, sleep together, are lovers, we cook together, shop together, talk about everything, laugh together....what would change if we married? I am already his and he is mine. Do we even need to get married? I wonder what are the Woodmen marriage customs? Does a couple HAVE to eventually get married? Or can we keep living like this forever? That wouldn't be too bad. Course, if nothing will change, why not? But if nothing will change, why do it? Go back to the kids thing. That topic was easier. Do I want children? Hmm. Do I? One day I might want children. One day far down the line. Far, far down the line. And only with Heriwulf. He is the only one I want in my life forever. Makes sense.
Back to puppy talk. Actual puppies. He has one of Brunan's litter that has gone unclaimed. Song. How appropriate is that?! It is like she was waiting to be mine! Don't get your hopes up. Only clan members get one of their hounds. Don't go falling in love with the puppy, like I know you probably already are Leo, and focus on getting in the clan. I don't care where the puppy comes from, but a puppy with Heriwulf should be one that he would be proud of. He will only be happy with one of his hounds. Well, one more reason to join the clan. It is low on the list, but it is on there.
Look how he catches his breath and loses his thoughts when I run my fingers through his hair. I wonder if he knows how adorable he looks when he gets all flustered? If I want to learn about puppies and their care, I should listen to him and stop my sweet tormenting. Ask and be serious. I love it when he talks about his hounds. He looks perfectly relaxed. Almost content. Like he is the Master of his trade and confident in his skills. This is the man I fell in love with. This perfect, sweet, handsome, hound-tender. Did he laugh last night? I just got a flash of memory of him laughing. He did! And I missed it! At least, if I remembered anything of that night, I remembered his laugh. Oh, my sweet love.
I love seeing him so calm and relaxed. Maybe we should go on holiday after the battle. I could take him fishing. Pack a picnic and spend the day fishing and making love outside. Let him come back perfectly relaxed and content. He liked fishing and foraging! HA! Do I know my love or what?! Fishing definitely! Imagine him relaxing by the river, fishing, eating food I made with so much love, apple pie, sunbathing...Oh...Heriwulf sunbathing. He definitely needs to sunbathe at least once so I can keep that picture in my memory til me dieing days. It is happening. That is all there is to it. He is so handsome. So perfect. I don't deserve someone as wonderful as him.
"Do people really have to do something to deserve one another?" he asks, dreamily. "Maybe we're just supposed to be together because half of us are longing for the other half."
My love!! I love how his mind works. Look how he moves. So handsome. So perfect....So very perfect....
WAIT! Did he? Did he just say he loved me? Did he just say the words? HE DID!! HE LOVES ME!! HE LOVES ME! HE LOVES ME!!! HE SAID IT!!!!!!! HE LOVES ME!! ME!!! Of everyone in the world my love could choose, HE LOVES ME!!!!!! My Heriwulf loves me!!!!!!!!!!!
He loves me.
"The sun's in my heart...And I'm ready for love."
