Entry 10

Eodhere, the man to whom I am tending, is Taragen's older brother. It broke my heart to tell him of his brother's death. He was already in poor condition due to his injuries. He appears to have such a gentle, loving heart. The news of his younger brother's death hit him quite deeply. He even began to blame himself.

Taragen was the reason he journeyed to Bree..but he arrived only days too late. However, I was his excuse to leave Rohan. Apparently, as if Father had not ruined my life enough already, he is attempting to sell me to the highest bidder! He sent Eodhere to fetch me and drag me back to some wealthy Gondorian. I will not go back and face him! Why, just Eodhere mentioning that Father would wonder what is taking him so long in returning...I am not sure...it was as if time froze.

I relived what happened. All of it. Then when I came back to present, Furley was kneeling beside me, resting his hand on my shoulder to comfort me. I had been aiding Eodhere in walking back inside, but apparently dropped him on the ground and ran to the very back of my house and collapsed. I was shaking and having a time attempting to breathe in regulated pattern even after the memories quit swarming me. Furley was very kind and concerned for my wellbeing...but I was entirely too embarrassed to let him fuss over me.
It was very good to see him. I needed the face of a friend. I believe I embarrassed him when I embraced him the moment I knew who he was. Oh well. He can live with a tad bit of embarrassment.

Though what he came to speak to me for was rather...disturbing. I will not write down all of it. But he is in a fairly dangerous spot right now. I spoke to Dru about it, and she promised me her aid. I am attempting to find others I trust to help him...but I can find so few of those that I trust anymore. I wonder where they all went?

After he left, I finally was able to bring Eodhere inside and get him to lie down once more. He does not listen to my instructions very well, even though he feels dreadful every time he goes against them. It was odd though. We both seemed to feel as though Taragen was there with us.

I believe Eodhere's head injury got the better of him and he...kissed me. It was brief, but still a kiss. I told him that I was not ready to view him in such a way. Yes, he is exceedingly handsome. Yes, he is so very gentle and warm. He seems quite intelligent. He is rather strong. Many good things.
But it is still entirely too soon after Hamadryt left. I sometimes still think he will come back to me. Tell me it was a mistake, and that he never intended to leave me behind.
To be honest. Once I no longer feel that way, if it ever leaves me, I am not sure I could trust any man after that anyway. If they can simply not love me when I have chosen to allow myself to love them...then why allow myself at all.
~Ash