Naerhad: A day of goodbyes

It is a late afternoon when Naerhad wakes up again. After his voluntary work he came home only to fall asleep almost instantly. The sun is already starting to set as the twilight shimmers through the windows of his home. He can't be sleeping all day. He may be old, but not that old. Naerhad tries to get up, but his body seems asleep still. Everything hurts but eventually he manages to get dressed. He proceeds downstairs and as he approaches the kitchen he hears a faint humming of a melancholy tune. He follows the music until he finds his wife, calmly preparing their lunch. She hasn't noticed him yet. Silently he walks up to her and puts his arms around her waist. Gently he kisses her neck as he eyes what she's cooking. "Hmm that smells good... How are you my dear?". Gwathrian turns her head and smiles at him. "I am good, my dear. But I miss our sons. The house is so silent without them... but well, how was your day?" Naerhad sighs and takes a seat. "Silent it is indeed... But we knew this would happen one day. We have done all we could, the rest is up to themselves." For a moment Naerhad's mind travels back to the old days. Teaching his sons how to walk, talk and fight. It's hard to believe they have their own lives now. At least he has the love of his life with him still. "I am fine I suppose. I feel I'm getting a bit rusty though. I hope this war will end soon, for our grandchildren's sakes." Gwathrian sighs. "I hope that at least Iarnuil and Iarvenil are safe... they are so young yet..." She sounds worried. Naerhad tries to comfort her. "They're good boys, and well trained. They will manage I'm cert--.."  Suddenly Naerhad hears the front door open and manages to catch a glimpse of Nethillon before he vanishes into his room without saying a word. He looks at his wife and contemplates the situation for a moment before he decides to go after him. Calmly he goes to his son's room and knocks on the door. "Son, I know you're in there. Are you okay? Your mother and I would like to see you, and I would hear about your endeavours." For a while it is silent on the other side of the door. Though just when Naerhad decides to go back, the door creaks open. There stood Nethillon, his face betraying distress despite his apparent efforts to hide it. "I am sorry dad, but I have only a brief moment before I'll need to head off. Anyway, the rest of us should be here in any moment. Maybe they will tell both of you more..."  Far from comforted by these words Naerhad decides to leave his son be for the moment. "A-alright boy, rest well then. Join us for lunch soon if you will." He heads back to the kitchen to inform Gwathrian of their son's mood. She seems worried, but also indifferent in a way. "I wish he has told you more. But maybe it's just work once again." She says as she turns to her cooking once again. After a small while Nethillon suddenly appears, with his bags packed. "I'm sorry but I need to leave. The others will tell you more about our next tasks. I'm sorry I don't have time once again..."  He says as he starts moving to the front door. But Naerhad is not gonna let this slide without any further explanation. Envigorated he rushes past Nethillon and blocks the door. He gives him a stern stare though Nethillon seems annoyed more than intimidated. With a voice as demanding as possible, Naerhad speaks. "What is this, you can't just barge in here, worry us and leave immediately. Where are you off to, to do what? I want to hear whatever it is from you, not your brothers. Tell me if I should worry for you." Nethillon looks back at his father, and with some apparent degree of reluctance he speaks. "They ordered us for the new campaign. To make it short... Me and the twins are forced to go to Morgul Vale... while Araithil goes to reclaim Osgiliath with the others..." Naerhad suddenly has a lump in his throat and breathes rapidly. In his head images, sounds and regrets appear which he has not experienced in decades. That Vale, that's where everything changed for him. "Morgul Vale... That is suicide. You know what happened to your grandfather there. If you go there... I must insist on coming with you. This isn't right!. If you go to Morgul Vale, with Osgiliath still occupied, you will be surrounded. It's a death sentence... Can't you convince your commander to focus the assault on Osgiliath first?" Naerhad looks at his son, who seems unmoved by his words. Then at his wife, who is struggling to hold back her tears. "They are to begin it so we can get past Osgiliath. And as we will be ready we will just secure the Vale."  Nethillon says calmly. Naerhad sighs. "I hope you realize what you're doing, and don't underestimate the matter. The Morgul Vale is where the line of kings ended. Don't let our line end there too..." Nethillon nods. "I know, dad. I just repeated what they told all of us. I wish I had a choice but I don't have one..."  Although still gravely worried, Naerhad lets Nethillon pass. Yet he weeps, for as much confidence he has in his son, it may very well be his end he marches to. Once Nethillon is gone, Naerhad turns to his wife and embraces her tightly. Together they share their grief and worries. And a serene moment of silence remains unbroken for what feels like hours. For decades Naerhad has fought so that their children could be free and live a happy life. How could cruelty such as this be asked of him, to allow his children to go there where he lost everything? When Naerhad finally lets go of his wife, he is startled. Suddenly all his other sons are standing behind him. He quickly wipes the tears from his face and he faces them. "Araithil, Iarnuil, Iarvenil... I am more than glad to see you here. Your brother, he was just here and... he told me." As hard as he tried he could not keep his eyes from shedding another tear. "How could this happen, what madness has befallen the Steward to order something like this. I can't lose you all..." His sons stand before him, but they stay silent. Gwathrian now too, at the sight of her sons, is struggling to cope with the news. Finally Araithil breaks the silence. "I am so sorry... Nethillon tries to convince the Steward to move us away from this task, but it's risky..." Naerhad sighs. "We should talk."  He gestures his sons to proceed into the house. They all make their way in and sit down in the living room. Naerhad takes a deep breath and then asks his sons: "Do you know what happened, the last time such an order was executed?" But before anyone could reply Gwathrian speaks. "I need to leave and check something... I will be back in four days I think... I need to go back to the Island for something..." Naerhad embraces her one more time and kisses her lovingly. "Stay safe, I love you." Then Gwathrian bids the men farewell before she leaves them to their conversation. A bit thrown off guard by this Naerhad recuperates and turns his attention to his sons once more, who had all indicated they don't know what happened the last time. "The last time such an order was executed... I lost my father. Your granddad, who you never got to know because of it. He fell, and I was alone. A young man, not even twenty years old, without parents, left to fend for himself." Naerhad felt the tears disappear from his face with every spoken word. His face now only expressed grave concern. "The Morgul Vale is where people go to die, period. And I won't have it, lest I may join you, that I may die in your stead." But Araithil shuts down this idea immediately. "I am sorry dad, they would never allow you to come with us..." But Naerhad only shrugs. "I am a free man, and I have proven my worth to Gondor tenfold in my lifetime. I'd like to see them stop me from coming with you. I would gladly give my life to protect those I love. Is that not what begin a soldier is all about? If I am to die, I shall die fighting. I'll request an audience with the Steward myself if I have to. He can't deny me to strengthen his force, nor can he deny me my death..." But Araithil seems unconvinced still and sighs. "Mom needs you... what if we're all going to die? You cannot die with us and leave her alone with no one and no place to go..." A myriad of thoughts now swirled in Naerhad's head. And he could no longer think straight. "And what about your own son?" He counters to Araithil. Instantly Naerhad regretted saying those words. For to deal such a low blow, to your own son... His father would be ashamed. Seemingly untouched Araithil replies. "Eoric is following his own dream and as well he understands my job. Have you heard about Nethillon?" He then asks, obviously trying to change the subject. Naerhad decides to allow it, for he wishes to forget his last words quickly. "Briefly, he was here but a moment ago, and left as quickly as he came. He told me about the missions, nothing more. Is there anything else I should have heard?" Araithil stands up. "He is the temporary commander of the Fifth now." Naerhad can barely believe it. "He got promoted? And he didn't even bother to tell me himself. I'll never quite understand that boy it seems. It seems like just yesterday I attended his ceremony for his promotion to captain..." Naerhad's mind tries to wander off into memory but is quickly brought back back a chuckle of Araithil. "He is only replacing Lord Maxem for a while as he is busy somewhere else. But he is still a Captain. I should be gone now. They are preparing for retaking Osgiliath." He speaks some more to his brothers but Naerhad doesn't bother to listen, this is goodbye then. "It seems you know the risk, and you are willing to fight and die for your land and family. I will pray to the Valar for your safe return, and will mourn you should it not be so." Naerhad takes his sons' hands. "Your mother and I are proud of you. If anyone can manage this task, it will be you. And though it pains my heart and soul, I shall stay here, awaiting your return or news thereof. Stay safe boys, fight with your heart, but don't forget to use your head all the same. I love you." Araithil looks back at him and speaks. "Both Nethillon and I love you too dad. And we will speak again when we will be back..." Then he leaves Naerhad and the twins in silence. Though for Naerhad it is not an awkward silence, but a pleasant one. He senses his sons, their heartbeat, their breathing. He tries to memorize it should it be the last time he hears it. And after a while he is content. "I guess this is it boys. You are the glory of Gondor given form. And you shall be victorious and avenge my father, the one thing I never could in my time. And please, come back to me in one piece." Naerhad then stands up tall and gives each of his boys a hug and strong handshake to send them off.  "I hope that we will return..." Iarnuil says, before leaving them. "We will avenge grandad. I don't care for anything more." Says Iarvenil, yet he remains and looks at his father.  "May I have a question?" A tad bit surprised Naerhad bids him to ask it. Iarvenil thinks a while before speaking. "How was it for you when you were my age? The battles and all that?" Naerhad bows his head and sighs. "This might be the last time we see each other, should things go awry, so I shall be honest with you. Things, changed, after I lost my father. Before I was eager and the sounds of battle excited me. When I was alone, I grew to hate it. I hated everything, and I had no mercy for my enemies. I was determined to make the world pay for taking my dad away. But it passed. And after a time battle does nothing anymore. It doesn't make you happy, nor angry. As a soldier, I did what I had to, I followed orders. If you can't distance yourself from being human before you enter combat, it will break you mentally. That in itself is not difficult, the hard part is bringing yourself back each time. That is something your brothers, and I too, and every soldier, struggles with." Naerhad places a hand on Iarvenil's shoulder. "But fear not, trust in your sword arm, and trust in your comrades. And you can face even the worst of odds without hesitation." For a minute Iarvenil looks at his dad, considering all these words. "So it is as I thought. I believe I can face anything. And all of us will return..." Naerhad smiles at his son. "I believe that too, but the enemy we fight is cunning, and even the bravest of men can be surprised. Bravery does not equal victory, as much as we'd like it to be so. But I have faith in you, and you will return to me." Naerhad lowers his voice hoping his son won't hear the last part. "One way or another..." With these words Naerhad says goodbye to Iarvenil, and is left in an empty home. He looks around and sighs. He lights his pipe and sits in silence. Waiting. Waiting for nothing.