Ilúvatar called to [the Ainur], and said: 'I know the desire of your minds that what ye have seen should verily be, not only in your thought, but even as ye yourselves are, and yet other. Therefore I say: Eä! Let these things Be! And I will send forth into the Void the Flame Imperishable, and it shall be at the heart of the World, and the World shall Be; and those of you that will may go down into it. And suddenly the Ainur saw afar off a light, as it were a cloud with a living heart of flame; and they knew that this was no vision only, but that Ilúvatar had made a new thing: Eä, the World that Is.

    The Silmarillion, "Ainulindalë"
 

And andanéya in the time ere Time, within the vast halls and spaces of the World that Is, by the Great Music of the Ainur was Arda made, which is in Valarin called Aþāraphelūn, the appointed dwelling; for it was made for the habitation of the Híni Ilúvataro who are called also the Eruhíni and the Mirröanwi, and it was at first Aþāraphelūn Amanaišal, that is Arda Alahasta, perfect and untainted by Shadow.

Now though Arda was created by Eru Ilúvatar, it was shaped by the Valar, and thus was it tainted from its very beginning by the rebellion of Melkor against Eru; for it was amidst the Ainulindalë that his discord contended with the themes of Ilúvatar, for so say the loremasters of the Elder Days: "He sought therein to increase the power and glory of the part assigned to himself”¹. Thus was the evil of Melkor kindled in greed and pride, though in later days he was driven by envy and resentment.

But Melkor was of the Valar, the offspring of the thought of Ilúvatar, and thus kindled with the Flame Imperishable; his name signified 'Mighty Arising', and indeed he was first and mightiest of the Ayanûz Ainur, the Holy Ones, and the brother of Mānawenūz Manwë Súlimo. But, alas, he fell to Darkness and evil... and so I ask myself, how did a power of Light such as he become Lord of the Dark? For I hope beyond hope that I, in my forgotten life, was a servant of the Secret Fire: that I served the Light and not the Darkness... that I was a good man... but I know not!

Both Dolenor and Lord Iavasdir say that my heart is untainted by the Ancient Darkness with which Melkor first seduced the Men of old, and I am grateful... but they cannot see who I was ere my captivity any more than I. For though I hold no hatred in my heart, how can I know that I was not before a man of greed and pride, or as those Men of old who hearkened and bowed to sossë fear and laista ignorance? And now my own ignorance brings me to my own fear!

Mayhap Lord Iavasdir forbode my present bewilderment when he aforetime urged me with his words, "Á rice alassen"?

The loremasters say also that Melkor “had gone often alone into the void places seeking the Imperishable Flame; for desire grew hot within him to bring into Being things of his own.”² Is, therefore, the Void the abode of Darkness which is more powerful than Light, which can corrupt even the mightiest of Eru's Ainur? Is Eä but a small candle in the eternal Dark, and Eru naught but the lesser lighter in the Void of that slight flame? Nai... forgive me! Does such dark thought mark me as unworthy of His grace?

I look to the cool deep pool that swells beneath Dolenor's cataract beside which I sit, as has become my custom, and I ponder upon the doom of those who drowned within the waters of Ulmo in the deluge of Beleriand. Would it not be peaceful to fall therein and sink beneath the waves and, like Húrin in his despair, to breath those waters unto death and gladly seek the Gift of Men undarkened by Morgoth's shadow? No cares... no doubt... no anguish...

Lo! Uncalled-for come the words of my lost friend:

"Áva Lave Huinen!"

1. The Silmarillion, "Ainulindalë"
2. Ibid

On a side note, for those wondering about the Valarin used herein, Q. unwittingly reverts to his bygone vernacular when he's stressed.