Found:
I have found my mood becoming increasingly better of late. I can't tell if it's merely one thing or a combination of occurrences that have brought my inner smile to the fore, but I am feeling much better for it!
A long, winding and often fraught conversation with Toddir has resulted in a better understanding for us both, I think. He proposes to speak with Rhuag on my behalf. I'm not sure what good it will do, if any, I'm certainly not convinced that it's a good idea or that things between he and I shouldn't simply be left to lie for the moment, but asking Toddir not to interfere is like asking the sun not to shine. It will happen one way or the other and there is naught I can do about it now, so why worry?
On the subject of Rowan, I feel... at peace to a degree. Certainly, matters between he and I could be better. Certainly, the situation is far from ideal and not what I would have wished for. It is what it is, however. Time will tell if anything can or will change. For the moment, I will simply have to be patient and brace myself for whatever comes.
Unfortunately, Ethan and his family will be departing Trestlebridge for villages new by week's end. It has been a pleasure to teach the boy what I could in the time allotted to us, it has been wonderful to be provided with such a joyous distraction from my troubles and I will be sad indeed to bid my farewells. I've put together some materials for him to study without me but I imagine he'll work his way through them in short order! I wish them all well, of course, but I can't help feeling adrift once more without something to keep me truly occupied. My courier work keeps Steel suitably exercised but 'tis still of little interest to me.
It does, however, give me reason to return to Bree-land and those few I care for within it. It also seems to have afforded me the opportunity to make a few more pleasant acquaintances. Baldvin and Loakee are of great amusement to be sure. I have enjoyed my chance encounters with the pair even if the first one was less than wonderful due to my own state of mind at the time. Nevertheless, it transpires that the latter has quite the comfortable lap and is more than willing to be used as a seat. I may have to make use of that knowledge again in the future. Both are shameless flirts, seemingly locked in a never ending game of one-upmanship with one another. 'Tis as entertaining to watch as it is to be embroiled in.
Neyaa meanwhile is a delight, as ever! There is some worry beneath the surface, some unspoken fear or disquiet, but I've not yet had chance to speak with her about it. Our meetings of late have been group affairs and I doubt she'd wish to speak so openly to me about her inner turmoil when in the company of others. I'll bring it up when opportunity allows.
People and deliveries aside, I'm uncertain as to what to do next. I could bring forward my plans to go back to Evendim, I really would feel happier once my hidden stash of coin is placed into the correct hands and it would be good for Toth and his hirelings to finally get their pay. I could also turn my sights to Forochel, as suggested by Endre, I've not been there yet and he has offered himself up as a hired guide. I could also simply wander at will or remain as I am for the moment.
For the first time in a long time, I see the the possibilities.
