It has been awhile since I have been able to write but now I feel my strength returning enough to write of what has happened, I think it may be important so that I may learn from my foolish actions.
There are so many emotions I have had to deal with in the past week, emotions I couldn't even dream I would have to struggle through. Anger, disappointment, fear, annoyance, regret and sorrow. Not to mention the pain I've had to endure and still do to some extent.
It was a night that I will never forget. It was late at night when most sleep and the rain was heavy that evening. I myself was preparing to rest when I heard a scream from within the keep and later learned it was from Ulfey.
She had let a half-orc loose, a half-orc Thorontir had been keeping around to question. I have realized now that her good nature can be of danger to us. We were told later that she had grown worried for the half-orc's health because rain was making its way into the room he was held in leaving him wet and cold. Foolishly she thought he would not try an escape when she went to move him.
Thankfully she was not hurt only startled but the half-orc made his escape and ran out of the keep.
We gathered quickly and went out into the night armed but the half-orc had already managed to use the cover of darkness to hide himself from us. Our first priority was to make way to the docks and make sure he hadn't taken one of the boats and thankfully all was still in place, perhaps he had not realized this keep is not on the mainland.
Megorin was left to guard the boats while the rest of us split up and scouted the area, I was paired with Arostir while Thorontir and Forvenor took off together.
It didn't take long for me and Arostir to find traces of the half-orc where his footprints laid fresh in the snow. We followed them and came upon a large hill that is not far from the keep there I got my first taste of the pain that comes with fighting, comes with war.
Before I could even react I felt pressure in my right shoulder followed with a terrible pain, one I had never felt before in my life. It burned and for a moment I felt as if poison was rushing through my entire being.
I cried out in pain and quickly took shelter by the hill while Arostir looked for the half-orc and soon found him standing at the top of the hill. He had gotten himself a vantage point but it did not seem to hold Arostir back, not even his injured leg kept the man from climbing up the hill to get to the half-orc. The snow and rain did not make the climb easy either.
I cannot understand what happened in my mind but the pain in my shoulder was suddenly gone as I pushed away to try and aid Arostir to get to the half-orc, I feared that an arrow might easily find his head if I didn't do something.
However instead of aiding my companion I only made it worse. With only my left arm to use and a single eye to aim the dagger I threw ended up in the man's hind quarters, I do not think I've felt as much shame as I did in that moment.
Thankfully this mishap of mine did not stop him and he soon reached the escaped half-orc and took to a fight. Earlier I had lended Arostir my spear so that he could support himself with it as well as fight and it seems it came to good use as he took to the fight.
Hoping to sooth my shame I climbed the hill as well and when I finally reached the top I saw that Thorontir and Forvenor had gotten up there as well, thankfully.
It seemed like an easy fight but something happened that none of us could predict. The half-orc invoked the name of Sharkû.
We still cannot make sense of what happened there and then but the half-orc's power grew, he became much stronger and more powerful than even the four of us could handle.
It was four against one and still this half-orc was beating us. I was without a weapon and in my desperation I did the most foolish thing any person could do, I took a hold of the shaft of the arrow and yanked it out of my shoulder to arm myself but in turn I made my wounds far worse that today I regret terribly.
This action did me no favours either for as soon as I got in close to strike the half-orc got the better of me and I found his spear in my ribs. I do not know what dumb luck allowed me to live but I know well that I would not be sitting here and writing if it was not for Forvenor pushing the half-orc away
I was drifting in and out of conciousness as I laid there, feeling my own warm blood flowing from my shoulders and now my ribs. I truly felt as if I was dying. Is our gift always this painful?
I saw Arostir soon be cut down and not long after Thorontir was knocked off the hill. I do not know where my strength came from but I managed to crawl my way over to help Thorontir but I do not remember anything after that.
When I woke up I was being tended to by Ulfey and through her I learned I had been out for almost two days. The others were able to beat down the half-orc and were all in Ulfey's care now though Arostir was back on his feet. That man never seems to be able to stay in bed. Though maybe it's because of the damage I did to his backside, perhaps the man simply can't sit down.
Once I am up and able I will have to apologize for what happened and pray that he will forgive me, that the others can forgive me as well for my foolish actions.
At least I shall be able to learn from this all. I cannot put myself in such risk again.
My arm still feels weak and Ulfey says it may not regain full strength again for some time, if ever.
Perhaps it would do me well to practice using my left arm incase my right arm will never recover.
For now I will have to rest again. I can already feel my arm starting to sink after writing this all.
I know they will need me again. Yesterday the company returned beaten again after another visit to the Old Forest. We are too few and yet they refuse to stop, they press their bodies and abilities to the limit to fight for the Free People and so I must press myself to my own limit as well. For them.
