It is done.
Cybryn and I traveled to Far Chetwood a few days past. Only now have we returned to Wolfhaven. I had hoped that Haldrid would accompany us to that place, as he said he wished to. It would have done him good to be away from Bree for a short time, I think. Alas, try as I might, I was unable to find him when finally the preparations were complete. I can only hope that his disappearance is linked to his love; that he has gone in search of her. Whatever his reasons; he was unreachable and I had delayed this for too long already.
We arrived there, my son and I, under cover of darkness. Although the wolves bayed in the distance and the owls called from nearby, he showed no fear; only curiosity. Perhaps he did not understand the possible danger, he is still young after all. Or perhaps he is as brave as his father was and suited to an outdoor life as I have ever been. A native to the wilderness.
Come sunrise, after breakfast, I began preparations for the ritual ahead. The sigils tattooed onto my skin were painstakingly copied into the soft mud of the shore. Cybryn even tried to help, making patterns of his own. We played then, with sticks and stones and leaves and mud. He enjoyed splashing in the water and watching the fish dart to and fro beneath the surface.
As dusk descended, I seated myself within the boundary of my etchings, close to the water, and with Cybryn upon my lap. I sang then. I sang for the memories. I sang for the truth. I sang for what I lost, for what my son will never know and what could have been if only...
I sang until midnight and then I sang some more. I released the white feathers upon the surface of the lake, handful after handful left to float upon the still waters. Bathed in the moonlight, they almost glowed. It was eerie and beautiful, a fitting tribute I think. My tears mingled with the lake water as my voice floated away on the night air.
By morning, my song came to an end. By morning, I had said my goodbyes. By morning, I had let him go.
A funeral without a corpse is a difficult thing. Only once before have I been forced to enact such a thing, yet that last time I had seen the death with my own eyes thus I had no uncertainty in my heart as to what had to be done. This time, however...
I can only hope that I have done the right thing; for myself, for my son, but most of all for Cyfier. He deserves better than an eternity unmourned. He deserves better than to have his spirit bound to these lands by a woman who knows not if he is truly gone.
All I can do is say farewell and hope that it is enough.
