My darling diary! Been a while aint it? I always do this, I go through phases of writing in you loads and then don't go near you for a few months. Its grand! You know you're dear to me and that I would probably go insane without you. I say go insane, I'm pretty close to insanity at the best of times. You would be too if you were in my position to be fair! Or maybe it is just me? Am I actually crazy? Most people seem to think so at any rate. I just nod and smile and then do a little dance and hope it goes away but it does get to you after a while. Because after having twenty seven years of people telling you you're not normal it does eventually get to you. Everything gets to you.
But what's been happening since you last wrote in me I hear you cry? Well! Various bits and pieces! I moved in with Alvey or Bucke or whatever he wants to call himself. I know! Its contraversial to move away from the tree but I was starving, screwed up and needed looking after and he offered to do just that for me. So I took up his offer and am now living in a forge. Its grand! He's a lovely lad really. I'm not sure everyone shares my sentiments and I know I haven't always shared them but he's so good to me. Way better than I deserve. I think that's the hardest thing about him - I know he could do better than me and so I wonder what he actually sees in me? I treat him like dirt and he stays with me. Its odd. Very odd. Love does funny things I guess! And on that note I'm not sure what to think. Because I'm fairly confident that I do love him but I have no idea. I've never really experienced love before so I don't know what it looks like or what you're supposed to do with it or what. One thing is certian however - no matter what he says we are NOT going to get married. It just aint going to happen!
In other news, I made friends with a lad named Thayalengir who now hates me because I apparantly drink too much. I did also accidentally get him in jail twice but I don't understand how that's putting him off! I mean! I got Joran in jail almost every week and he bailed me out at least twice as much as that and he never held it against me. Each to their own I guess! Not that I'm really complaining, as long as he don't hurt anyone that I care about over it I don't mind him not getting on with me, although I just wish he could see that I still care about him! Silly stubborn men! At least he aint proposed to me or anything.
