ruminations

((These are stream-of-consciousness fragments from Nimlith's meditations. Nim doesn't keep a diary, but she reflects on recent events that trouble her in this way.))

I wish leading would come easier to me. Some seem to handle it with such grace, and great desire for it... yet twice I have been called a leader in the recent days, without ever having wished for it.
What makes a leader? To have others follow them... to be able to convince others to follow them. Yet I do not wish for anyone to follow me into danger, even of their own free will.

The elves here in Rivendell are strange... though not as strange as him... he confuses me.
I always thought all Elves were creatures of the light, though we have our differences... all the evil has been created by the Shadows, and we do not fight one another needlessly...
Yet this is not true; I knew this from history, yet I never thought more of it... the war and the corruption of shadows was what I blamed.