I didn’t say, and would never tell anyone, but I went back, for a short moment… Back home. Well, not home, but to the fields of home. I could have easily just continued on through the mountains, I might never have walked them before but I knew I needed to move to the North West. But no, I turned back, and started walking across the empty plains. I found a wild horse, probably lost or abandoned during an attach somewhere. I have not named her yet, but she is absolutely lovely. So scared at first, but she is getting comfortable around me now. Not long after I found her though, I could spot smoke in the distance. I believe that might be the settlement she was from, but the mere sight of it made me remember mother’s words. How she shouted at me and Belle to leave… I figured that maybe she was right. She was always right, but I was always too foolish to admit it. I still never would, not out loud. I could never admit that someone else might know better then me, especially not mother, or Belle. It would give them both too much joy to see me give in. Oh why do I have to be so stubborn...? It is a hard facade to keep up. But then, I suppose it works in terms of getting what I want out of it.
Oh, well, anyhow… Me and the horse… Damn I really have to give her a name. We turned back to the mountains, and made our way through and out on the other side. It is like I crossed a massive border, telling me that this is it, I have left home and will never go back again. I miss it, I miss home, I miss mocking Belle, refusing to listen to mother only to wind her up for fun, teasing the village boys, spending all days riding without worries…
Well, that would be my share of telling “someone” about my embarrassments for the next decade. I gave up, for a moment. I am lost. Not sure how long I can take care of myself without going completely insane…
~ Nal
