And so it was as so it was so as we rode from Isengard in triumph, singing songs and riding our horses. Then did the King Thèoden, say, ‘So be it! The wicked Saramn is dead, and Rohan is safe! Hurrah!’ and everyone cheered cheerfully.
But then King Thèoden did keep on saying, for he had not finished speaking, ‘Now we really have to go to Gondor and kill all the bad people there.’ And everyone cheered again.
But Mr Elessar said, ‘Don’t forget about those corsairs, King Thèoden.’
‘I did not forget,’ said King Thèoden.
‘Good,’ replied Mr Elessar answeringly. ‘For with thine leave, I will now leave and go fight them and also stop them from doing any more mischief.’
‘Thou shalt do as thou wilt,’ said King Thèoden. ‘Goodbye, but hopefully not forever!’ And then he turned around and oldly rode away, and all the Rohirrim went with him, because they had to.
And so did the Princess Èowyn and I part, and it was a bitter parting, aye! and saddening too also. And she wept tenderly, with her eyes, as we embraced and blighted1 our troth, and then we parted and she rode off with the Rohirrim, her hair falling from her head and her body curvy and womanly. But I for my part put her out of my mind, like a man, and did set myself upon that very same road that the Rangers were on, because I was going with them, and so I went with them.
And as we went, we spoke much, and I taught the Rangers much lore of ancient days, aye!!!, and wisdom and goodness besides, and they were transformed verily from lowly brigands and rough ruffians into very lords and kings of men, mighty and fell, even as I am.2
And as we made camp, we did speak, and Mr Elessar did consult with me on much lore, and I did instruct him in lordliness and lordship, and also I showed him how to use the Last Ring, because he did not know. And verily was it that then he knew how to command the Last Ring, and great power was about him, thanks to me. Also he learnt quite a lot about being a king and so on, which was fortunate, for he was noble but also quite stupid. Yet still did Mr Elessar continue to still deny his destiny, still, for he was afeared at the idea of becoming king and having lots of power but also responsibility.
So we rode, and rode, and rode. Then we rode more, for we had not yet arrived where we were going. And as we rode, we came ever nearer to Lebennin in Gondor, because that was where the Corsairs were, so we needed to go there. Then we arrived there, and stood upon a great hill, gazing out upon those lands.
And yea verily we gazed then upon a terrible sight. The very sea was black with the black sails of the Corsairs, except for the bits of blue where we could still see the sea, but there were few of these, because there were so many ships. And they were black. And they did go hither and thither freely, looting and razing and slaying or kidnapping the good and innocent folk of Gondor, my home, which I love dearly.
‘Hmm,’ said Mr Elessar. ‘It’s worse than I thought.’
‘But what shall we do, brother?’ asked Halbard Elessar confusedly. ‘There’s only a few of us Rangers, and also the hobbits, of course, and also Lord Tallow, who is great and cunning and strong. But these Corsairs are everywhere, there must be hundreds of them!’
‘Nay, not hundreds,’ I said. ‘Thousands.’ And Halbarad and all the Rangers blanched and quivered.
‘My brother may be simple and poor at counting,’ said Mr Elessar, ‘But in his question there is some wisdom. What is to be done, Lord Tallow? How can we hope to stop all these evil Corsairs and also kill them?’
On this very question, I thought long and hard. Then I said, ‘Long and hard have I thought upon this question, Mr Elessar, and also you Rangers. What we need to do, I think, is to force the ships of the Corsairs into retreat. At the moment, as they go hither and thither, they do so unimpeded, raiding the lands of Gondor for loot and slaves and things, and no defence can be marshalled against them. We must drive them before us in rout to Pelargir, where the strength of their fleet is. There, too, can be marshalled the Gondorian soldiers of these lands to stand against them, and then shall we stand a bit of a chance.’3
‘But how can we do such a thing?’ asked Nine-Fingered Frodo.
‘First we must away to Linhir,’ I said. ‘It’s just over there, and as you can see, there are some Corsair ships docked there, so probably they’re up to some mischief.’
So down we went to Linhir. And as we went, I noticed that Mr Elessar was unusually quiet, like a man deep in thought who is thinking about what might happen next. And I said to him, quiet, but not as quiet as him because he was not talking, ‘Do not forget your power, Mr Elessar. Do not forget the Last Ring!’
And Mr Elessar said, ‘Thank thee for the reminder, Mr Elessar. But maybe the hour is not yet ripe.’
‘And maybe it is ripe,’ I replied. ‘Truly do I believe it to be so!’
‘Maybe it is,’ he said. ‘But maybe it is not.’ And so I knew that he still harboured private doubt in his heart.
Then came we upon Linhir, and there was a grievous sight indeed, grievous and not very nice indeed! There was a great host of Corsairs and of Haradrim-men, fighting a big battle with the Men of Gondor, led by the Lord of Lebennin who was named Angbor the Fearless,4 and was a good friend of mine. Indeed it was I who had bestowed that name upon him, when many years ago he and I had stood in battle together against an army of trolls, and of all our allies, he and I alone had stood firm and not run away from the trolls! So that day, I shouted, ‘Angbor, aye Angbor the Fearless!’ and ever since then people called him that, because he was without fear.5
Anyway, now there was Angbor and all his men, fighting the Corsairs and also the Haradrim-men, who were with them for some reason. Probably looking for the Last Ring too, I suppose.6 Anyway, me and the Rangers and the hobbits and I came upon the battle, and then Halbarad Elessar blew a mighty horn blast, and all the fighting stopped, and everyone turned and looked upon our company!
‘Hail!’ I cried heroically. ‘Stop this fighting at once! You Corsairs had better leave pretty quick, if you know what’s good for you! If you don’t, you’ll all die soon, probably. Also, hello Angbor the Fearless!’
‘Hello Lord Tallow!’ shouted Angbor the Fearless gladly.
But the Corsairs laughed at me, because they did not know who I was. ‘Oh really?’ said one of them laughingly. ‘Or what? You’ll kill us all? There’s only a few dozen of you, and there’s hundreds of us just here, and even more looting and pillaging these lands right now! How can you hope to stop us?’ And he asked this because he was stupid and mean and did not believe me.
And I said, ‘Yes.’
Then I also said, ‘Now, Mr Elessar! Use the Last Ring!’
And Mr Elessar stood up very tall and there was a fell light in his eyes, and he cried in a loud voice aloud,
O Naffarínos cutá vu navru cangor luttos ca vúna tiéranar!7
And lo! behold! verily! was it so! that the Last Ring glowed with a sudden power and even was it so that as Mr Elessar held it aloft, the sky turned dark, as a fell power blotted out EVEN THE SUN from view, and all who saw that fume rising did marvel and despair, as day turned verily even unto night!!!
Yet even as this sorcerous darkness fell about all the lands of Gondor, a yet stranger and more terrible thing did occur to happen. For Mr Elessar’s spell MADE THE SPIRITS OF THE DEAD RISE from their ETERNAL slumber!8
With vengeful screams of vengeance all the ghosts did raise their pale swords, even as all the Corsairs and Haradrim-men ran away screaming in terror! But the Dead pursued them, as they ran, and as they ran they were followed by the Dead, running back to their ships in Pelargir! And the Men of Gondor all shouted, ‘hooray!’ because now they were not going to die in a horrible battle. Even Angbor was glad, though he had not been afraid.
‘Quick,’ said Mr Elessar urgently. ‘After those Corsairs!’
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1 In general I refrain from commenting upon Nick Tallow's many and egregious lesser crimes against the written word, for if I did not, my notes would demand more ink than I have ready supply of. Yet this particular error is so unbelievably stupid that I felt it warranted attention.
2 Of all the unbelievable falsehoods weaved by Nick Tallow, the notion that a single dúnadan ever learnt anything of him is one of the less plausible.
3 As will be seen, though Tallow’s knowledge of certain key facts concerning the deeds of the Grey Company in their routing of the Corsairs of Umbar and their capture of the Black Fleet is typically sketchy and grossly fantastical, the events described are broadly aligned with historical fact. Through the sequence that follows, it can be readily deduced that Tallow must have been present at least in Pelargir when King Elessar captured the Fleet, and that he further likely received firsthand accounts of the Grey Company’s passage.
For reasons that will become apparent in subsequent chapters, it is highly unlikely that Tallow was himself present at Linhir. Nonetheless, his account of Angbor’s stand there and of the Grey Company coming from Rohan cleaves closer to truth than it oft does elsewhere.
4 In actuality the Lord of Lamedon, not Lebennin, during the War of the Ring. Sirgon, the Lord of Lebennin, was wounded at the Sack of Pelargir, and thus played little role in the War. However, Angbor the Fearless was engaged in defence of Linhir when the Grey Company came to Lebennin, and it seems likeliest to me that Tallow thus confused Angbor as being the Lord of those lands.
5 Needless to say, Tallow assuredly did not bestow Angbor’s epithet upon him. If Angbor earned that name in battle with trolls at all, it is recorded in no tale, and being a man both doughty and valiant, it seems likelier that it was a name earned through general good reputation, and not any single act.
6 Again, Tallow’s lack of understanding concerning the policies of Sauron, or of the strong bonds between the Haradrim and the Corsairs, is readily apparent.
7 As with the previous “spell”, I find no attestation of this phrase in any known tongue, and it is once more likely to be naught but some fanciful lingual invention on Tallow’s part.
8 Tallow’s attributing of the Dawnless Day to Aragorn Elessar is baffling. However (though grossly misrepresented here) it is notable that he makes mention of the Oathbreakers, that they are summoned by King Elessar, and that they play an instrumental role in blunting and foiling the Corsair raids.
