Throughout our days together at the Lair, Seregrian and I busy ourselves with mundane interests that do not directly involve each other; Her with studies in the Sanctum or in correspondence with colleagues, me with tending the manor grounds, or restocking the larder from field, stream, and garden. Occasionally I will look in on Her to see if She might want or need something, perhaps a snack or a hot cup of something She favors, and on occasion I linger, quietly spying on Her as my child-like curiosity tempts me. I have noticed that one of Her studious practices is reviewing Her own writing, and in taking that as a clue I look back on the things I have scribbled in this, my own work. My written words, when I read them aloud, have gradually been taking on Her voice, as I imagine it. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but in this case the more valuable result is better writing. Like a fledgling in an eagle’s nest, I am watching, learning, and growing. She is indeed the eagle in Her nest, our home, as well as my mentor and muse.
Scanning again over Her entries in “Mortals: A Case Study”, at least the ones I’ve already read, I notice a change in Her writing as well. They begin as a serious re-examination of Mortals with me as an example, and although She openly admits that Her growing romantic affection for me is impishly interfering with her clinical mind, I have noticed another more subtle change. Gradually, She is relating more things about Us, and less just about me.
Her “Passages on Passage” entry is a clear example of this. She begins with an admission that sets the stage:
It is now fully a fortnight and longer since the last serious entry in this study, and I deem this lapse of chronicling unforgivable on my part; the devolution of this academic study into an adolescent journal is an unpardonable breach of my discipline. However, since the lapse can be neither explained away nor brought with forbearance, I must simply annotate the narrative to the best of recollection and collation of the notes I have managed to create in the intervening days, and press onward.
She then continues with a review of Mereth Hannad, the Feast of Thanks we held at the Lair soon after our betrothal. Mostly, She celebrates the success of the revels that resulted from the efforts of many in the House, working together, particularly Her dear Shire friend, Lancogard. She includes:
Lancogard, upon getting caught out in the sudden rain, burst into the hall loudly lamenting the fact that his wonderful attire, dyed a vivid blue, had been soiled by the rains with the dye dripping all over him, staining his feet a shade of Ered Luin Blue! Good-natured hilarity rang through the hall, with little Lancogard taking no ill will or embarrassment. Cutch, of course, whispered an aside to me about our own misadventures along this line...
Days after the Feast, She describes the conversation we had about attending the Grand Elven Ball as a couple. We have a serious discussion, together as a couple, and in the end arrive at the same conclusion, to attend. We plan and execute the journey to Imladris, and She describes its progress as if we were a pair of mated birds, awing and away, trusting our bond to guide us. We soar via the Shire and come to ground at Lance’s lovely hobbit-hole, then on to Bree and revelries at the Pony. She happily recalls continuing our trip, made carefree by our hearts companionship. We fly ever on, landing on the border of the Lone lands, where we nest for the night. Here, She identifies us again as a mated pair:
At last, the feeble lights of the Forsaken Inn appeared before us in the gloaming, and after stabling our mounts we settled in at the sparsely populated hostel, with many eyes and voices noticing us with high interest and curiosity, but also giving us a balance to leeway and privacy. As we retired to our rented room, Cutch curled up on the bed facing the door (protective, dear one) whilst I took the bed furthest in by the small hearth. As I write by the feeble firelight and a single candle, I am struck at how we are now, as a couple, on an adventure uniquely our own, both across the lands and across the divide that separates our kin and folk. Our immediate destination is Imladris - but our final destination?
The moving finger writes…
… as does Her own in Her next entry in the case study. “On Misconceptions” continues her documenting our bonding, which we practice as we travel to Ost Guruth. Here we discover that what we offer as a couple is a combination of what we bring from our individualities. This discovery is a milestone for us as a couple, as She writes:
And here was my first dispelled misconception. In past encounters the shock value of my Elven heritage among Mortals can open many doors and provide needed leverage in any conversation; not so with the Eglain. Even my own assertive demeanor did not assuage their distrust. It was Cutch and his ease of speaking with our hosts that provided us with shelter. Not only did I need to rethink my effect on Mortals, but also Cutch’s value among his own kind.
From the old fort, we continued our journey, again in the spirit of a winged pair flying across the leagues to our next destination, the Trollshaws, where She discovers yet another misconception dispelled:
…that my own kin would impede, if not outright bar our passage for no other reason than I was in Cutch’s company. Two reasons did the Elves give me for this display of welcome: that it was our intention to travel to Imladris for the Yule celebrations; and my own name, still known among the denizens of Imladris with familiarity. We accepted both and rode out once again with the dawn.
She ends this entry with dispelling Her third misconception, that Mortals are useless and an impediment to good order. She attributes this conclusion to our experiences together. While we lay next to each other encamped at Thorenhad, I asleep in a bundle of blankets, She comfortably composing by the watch-fire, She writes:
We complement each other.
We complete each other.
Can I ever redeem myself for being so wrong?
I agree with Her first two statements, but I cannot agree with Her thinking She needs redemption of any sort. It is I who need that, for reasons I fear She will reveal in Her final case study entry; reasons I have been dreading to read about in Her own words……
