After Aearlinn leaves, I turn back to the sound of the waterfall and the running water, noting the stars shining as brightly overhead as ever. She truly is a kind-hearted maiden, feeling compassion even for one such as me….
Later, as the stars still beacon in the sky, I lean upon the nearest tree, thinking of the memory we spoke of last.
I had been sitting by the fire feeling a little better, a little stronger than I had the previous day. It had been my own fault. I had taken a long time to heal from my old wound, and had been hardly fit for battle. Had I stayed behind, as Alqualinde had said I should, I would be recovering at a faster rate – not feeling this terrible exhaustion or bearing new wounds.
It had been a miracle in itself that I had survived a swordfight against him back then, let alone that I was still alive when Alqualinde found me. For all my own battle skills, I should have been slain. But I was not.
The blazing fire before me cast it’s light around the room, so bright that I had not noticed Ornelion standing in the corner near the door, but had thought myself alone.
“Brother, why do you still linger here? It is time for us to go home,” he said, walking across the room to stand at my side.
“Home…” I replied, looking down at my hands. I could almost feel the blood on them.
“Manwë has pardoned all the Exiles, Saerdir; which means you can return too. The ships will soon be ready, and we should not delay any longer than need be. Do you not wish to see mother and father again?” he asked, though his tone when speaking my name showed he was still unsure whether to call me Saerdir, or Sartion, as was my name in Aman, and before all the matters in Beleriand.
“How can I ever look mother in the eyes again?” I stated softly, but decisively. “Or father, for that matter? How can I ever return home? I am sorry, Ornelion, but I will not return with you. I cannot! Lord Manwë has said he pardons us, but in my heart I know I will never be able to forgive myself... not truly” I looked up at him, observing his calm expression. He had never lost his composure before, and he did not loose it then, either.
“So your mind is made up to stay.”
“Yes. Tell mother that I am sorry to disappoint her again. Tell father…..that I understand his words to me now.”
“That is not true, little brother. You never disappointed her, not even after you left,” Ornelion spoke with a determination that matched my own. “Nor did you disappoint me! I am proud to call you ‘brother’, no matter what happened in days past.”
I found it difficult to speak further. “ I will see you again..one day. I will see you again, my brother.”
He merely nodded and smiled, embraced me in a tight, but careful, hug, before leaving the room - and me to my thoughts.
Only a few moments later I turned my gaze from the fire to the door again, towards the sound of a familiar voice – one that had undoubtedly something to say on me leaving his care before it was prudent.
I had smiled when he stopped mid-sentence as he looked at me, such a pause in speaking a rare thing in itself. Truly, a good friend is he…..
