For a while I've been worrying a little about when I'll be kicked out of the house I'm staying in. It's properly owned by one of the Knights of Eriador, the folks whose settlement is what the village of Hookworth grew around. Being Knights, they go off on long journeys in perilous places, and sadly that means sometimes they don't come back. This particular one is owned by someone whose name I don't know, who has been gone for several years. About all I know about him, or her, is that the house has a study with more books in it than I would have thought were in the whole world (at least before I'd seen the library in Imladris), and a fair number of trophies of hunting and fishing. For all I know, more than one person lived in the house.
When Miss Brynleigh said I could stay in the house, I left some of my things there, but it seemed wrong to be in someone else's home, so I continued to pass the nights at a camp I'd set up near Andrath. Then the snows came, and I started to use it, but only one corner of the main room, sleeping on the floor, so I wasn't touching any more of the house than I had to. I even avoided using the fireplace. But little by little, I've come to feel more comfortable using the house, and after my trip to Imladris, I even started sleeping in the bed. I've put up a few decorations on the walls, reminders of the Mark, though nothing I couldn't remove quickly if I were told I had to leave. But I've been trying to guard against letting it feel like my home, rather than just my house.
Yesterday, after giving Beoda the bouquet and candies (much to her delight, I'm happy to say) we rode together to Hookworth, and after showing her the Sizzling Turtle, I let her see the house. I suppose if I was trying to guard against making it feel like a home, standing in it with her by my side was a foolish mistake. The sight of her there, taking delight in the house, feeling entirely at home in it, couldn’t help but mix up all of my dreams into one. Dreams of being with her, of having a life together and a home and a family; and dreams of this house becoming my home. Now I can't separate them. I can't close my eyes without seeing that hopeful future. I can't stop thinking of how that study, so overfull of books and oddments that don't seem to suit me, could become a nursery, and later, a child's room. All things I shouldn't be thinking so much, so soon, especially not when I ought to be worrying whether I'll win her heart; and whether I'll be kicked out of the house any day, when the village elders decide the owner's been gone long enough and it's time to make it available for a price far beyond what I can afford.
At least, that's how it was yesterday. Everything changed today. I'd never had anyone else in the house before yesterday and now I've had three guests in two days! I need to get some tea to offer, if people will be coming by.
First, as I came back from my morning chores, Miss Andrelanor was waiting for me. She's the Elf-lass that Miss Adri referred me to, who's been evaluating that pendant I found in Framsburg. And before we could even get to talking, in comes another Elf-lass, one I'd never seen before, who turns out to be named Miss Ramield. Come to find out Miss Ramield is one of the High Nine, which are the village elders, and just as I feared -- on the same day even! -- she's coming around to take stock of the houses and update records of ownership, which sets me to worrying again that I'm going to have no house nor home by the end of the day. She asks me to come see her at the big house on the hill after my business with Miss Andrelanor is done.
Then things start turning for the better. Miss Andrelanor tells me that she can get at least five gold for the pendant, and maybe more, after she's talked to someone she knows who might take interest in its history. She advances me five gold right on the spot, which is enough to cover the Beorning tolls, and means all I've been saving all winter for those tolls is now free for other things I've been needing, like supplies, and maybe some armor. And, dare I dream, the purchase price of the house? That might be hoping too much, but perhaps enough to make a start, with a promise to pay the rest later? And especially if it turns out that Miss Andrelanor finds that other buyer and gets the better price.
And Miss Ramield seems open to the idea of me buying the house one day, after she asks me a lot of questions about myself, and my place in Hookworth. But not today. Turns out I can't buy it until after I come back from my journey this spring, as she wouldn't want me to waste my coin if it turns out I don't make it back, or on coming back, my plans have changed. But that's all right because she tells me if I pay some rent now, for the upkeep, the house stays reserved for me, and the rent costs will go against the purchase later. So I've paid my first rent, and while I don't own the house yet, I do feel like I can safely call it my house.
And maybe I can even call it my home. Maybe one day, our home? Am I letting hope get too far ahead of me?
