Sanctuary ?

Ridaran settled himself wearily onto the soft grass and stared up at the blanket of stars far above him, his mind drifting through the events of the day… He had not planned to come to Imladris. In fact when he had started his Blood-Quest far to the West, he had not thought that he would live to see any of his Elven kin again let alone end up within the sanctuary of the Valley. Yet he had caught up with the last of his quarry up in the high, ice-bound passes not far from where he now lay. Of course the man had begged for mercy, they all had, but it had made no difference… Ridaran closed his eyes at the memory of the scarlet blood spreading across the pure whiteness of the snow, just as the hatred had spread throughout his heart all those months earlier… He had expected to feel peace, even elation to have tracked all the murderers down and exacted justice upon them. But his soul was too blackened, too weary and all he had felt was a cold, dark despair that threatened to overwhelm the last tenuous threads that still bound him to who he had once been. He did not know how he had got to Imladris, yet somehow he had found himself wandering slowly through the all so familiar wooded groves as if in some sort of dream where he was watching himself from outside his body through an eerie mist and trying make sense of where he was going and why . His next memory was of standing at the top of the Falls for what seemed an age, staring into the thundering water and wondering what it might be like to fling himself out into the void and to embrace the peace of oblivion that he so craved. Something…someone ?...stopped him and instead he had turned away from the water and made his way into Lord Elronds Hall where he had sunk slowly to the floor and sat with his back against a pillar, head in hands utterly lost and unable to see his path forward out of the shadows. Then he heard two familiar voices, he looked up and to his amazement saw his two old friends Khalis and Elisbeth approaching. Somewhat stunned, he got to his feet and after greeting them both, fielded their inevitable questions about where he had been as best he could without giving too much away. It was good to see them yet at the same time he felt uncomfortable with their concerns for his welfare…if only they knew what he had done…what he had become… he felt they would surely disown him forever. His concerns had been brought up short when Elisbeth mentioned that she and others had formed a Warband at the behest of Lord Elrond in order to both protect Imladris and to take the fight against the gathering evil out into the rest of Middle Earth. Ridaran immediately saw a chance for some sort of redemption, to be part of something that could achieve what he had failed to do before – to protect and defend those he loved and the peoples of the Lands in general. Somewhere, deep within his inner darkness a small spark ignited, flickered and took hold and he found himself volunteering to join the Warband. Both his old friends seemed delighted at his offer and gladly accepted it, which did a little to douse his awkwardness and uncertainty at least for a brief, bright moment. The three of them then talked for a while about old times and new challenges but Ridaran grew deathly tired and had to excuse himself from their presence. Elisbeth had offered one of the comfortable rooms at the Hall for him to sleep and rest in, but he had declined saying that he had become too used to sleeping outside under the stars and so would do so again that night at least. This was in part the truth though being alone and outside away from anyone else also meant that when the nightmares came, which they always did, there would be no-one near to hear his screams….