My return to Bree is nothing I would have ever expected. I don't know whether to revel in that, memorialize in the excitement and the turn of events that have fallen upon me--or leave. Goodness, there is certainly a part of me wanting to tuck my tail and flee. I am so overwhelmed I cannot sleep; my thoughts channel like the rivers I miss so awfully much. But my sense of wonder is resolute, and I have become attached.
I never wanted this. I always wanted this.
There is nothing more dispiriting than finding myself undeserving of such simple gestures: Athyln cooking me dinner every eve, despite the fact that she cannot cook, undoubtedly - the compliments I receive from strangers and friends alike - when the sense of appreciation I often get is reciprocated - being gifted anything at all.
- Havaldr, the man I deem the kindest within the village. I have not once heard a word of negativity leave his lips, and he tolerates me without fail. He also gave me the idea to carve frogs for strangers - a way to show friendliness, which Bree now seems to lack - in a mere jest. But although I cherish his friendship, he has affections for me I cannot return. I would never want to hurt such a good-natured fellow--goodness, never.
- Kayrin has shined a light upon a friendship I was never aware existed; it feels as though I have known her for years and it has barely been weeks. With her, there is a feeling of comfort, understanding even. She has the river and mountains within her and it makes missing such easier when she is near.
- Sverken - though it has been brief I would like to burrow in his mind as he has done to mine. I want to know why he is so unhappy, yet I want to draw back in fear. Might I also add for future reference that I would not mind sitting upon the shoulders of the tallest man I've ever laid eyes on.
- Reffas is the first elf I've ever been fond of--or even spoken to. She challenges the pliancy of my outer shell and crawls under my skin with a single stare. The walls she surrounds herself with are made of years of hatred and I want to so badly overcome them to show her that someone cares--someone cares so deeply with no expectation. Even a step too close causes her to flee like a frightened animal when all I want to do is have her believe she is not alone.
- Alekay - I don't know how to express my thoughts into words. When he is near I get this sensation of modesty that is unfamiliar to me. In his presence I feel timid; safe yet exposed.
- Kolbjorn cannot help but make me wonder whether he is rightfully good for my sister. You cannot love conditionally and when you please. I will also forever think he is half weasel.
- Abyssia, although having poured soup on me and punched me in the face as our first meeting, I have grown fond of. She is a sweet lass and a good person to have on your side. She makes me feel secure.
I never wanted this.
I always wanted this.
