It wails like a wolf, cries like a seagull and screams like a morroval; it can be a humble whisper in your ear or cross your path without you ever knowing it was there. It can be strong and fell ancient, enormous trees like they were naught but frail weed; it can be very gentle and make the saplings and flowers dance in delight to the music that nature made; or it can be nothing more then a mere touch at your fair skin. The wind is unforgiving and cares for no living thing in existence; for in itself it is a very powerful being and knows no boundaries. It has no oaths to adhere to, no promises made and no one to love except for itself. The wind can bring you comfort and warmth, or it can bite you severely; it doesn’t care which. We rely on the wind to bring power to our sails and banners while nature relies on it to spread its seeds; and we are all dependent on the wind, in one way or the other. And at the same time, we constantly fear the wind; for it to change into a destructive storm. Without means to control it, we are always left in the dark – will the wind be gentle and carry our ship forward without incident, will it not be there at all and leave us without any hope on the open sea; or will it be angered this day, by wreaking havoc upon our sail and tear it apart?
As she’s sleeping softly within the ruined tower and I quietly keep my vigil and observe the stars of Elbereth, I cannot help but to think of the wind, our future vessel and my desire for the sea. All around us, the wind makes a low howling sound; and my thoughts wander back to the day many years ago, when father, my brother and me took the ship out on the sea together. We sailed for weeks upon the coast of Harlindon; we slept under the stars and sang to their splendor, all while the silent waves rocked our boat from side to side. The sea always brought us all something we had rarely experienced before our first sail – a true sensation of harmony and coherence. The three of us, with father as the experienced mariner, worked together as one when we handled the ship; we were a team in every sense of the word. After a few days we learned how our boat behaved, we knew exactly what to do and we were ONE with our vessel, and it felt as if we were masters of the sea. We had many voyages together, each one different from the other. On our very first journey, the wind was compassionate and enchanting; it sang with a voice that could have come from the Valar themselves, and we sang together with it as the wind peacefully carried us forward.
But then, there was the day when the sky suddenly darkened; the waves became frightened and agitated, and the wind clenched its heavy fist around our throats and sent tremors of fear through our bodies. There was a heavy storm coming, one of the mightiest that we had ever witnessed; and we were soon caught right in the middle of it. I have seen many storms since then, but non so ferocious; for out on the open sea, a storm is a hundred times more dangerous then anywhere on land. You have no protection, no shelter, nothing to hide beneath in that tiny vessel you’re travelling in. As the storm grew in power with each hour, we sang higher and higher to Elbereth: we pleaded that she would show us her stars again and bring us a light in the blackness. But in the cry of the storm, she could not hear our songs: our voices drowned within the deafening rumble, and we could barely hear each other that night.
We were all frightened then, but as the days passed on and the storm ripped through our sails and the heavy waves damaged our hull and almost drowned us, we suddenly knew that we had lost something when the storm hit us: the sensation of working together without fear. We had to discover that feeling again, where we were ONE with our ship, and not fear what lay beyond the borders of our domain that was the ship itself. Slowly we gained control of the vessel and ourselves again, despite the damage it had taken, and we let the mighty waves carry us wherever it wished. We did not fight back or fear that which could have crushed us in an instant; we just rode upon the waves and wind once again. As the storm eventually wore off, we smiled and laughed like if the storm had never hit us at all. For we were out on the open sea, with the wind carrying us home, and we had each other; the male side of the family was gathered and we were all alike, to a degree. Each of us had a strong love for the sea and the wind, despite its irregular and sometimes dangerous behavior; and we all sought to master them both. The wind and waves brought us home at last, and as we steered into the harbor, our hearts already ached for the next voyage. And now, when I stand here in the far-away lands of Eregion many, many years later, within its ruined towers and structures and listening to the wind; I can hear it sing to me. It’s like a whispering tune, something that cannot truly be heard, but felt: It calls for us both to come. Earlier that night, we talked long of the sea and of our own ship: we would dye it in gold and blue; it would have a great swan embroidered upon the sail and stunning paintings of mallorn trees and the flowers of Imladris upon the hull. We would build it together; we would learn to control and sail it together; and we would reach our home together.
The desire has taken a grip on us both, if just ever so slightly, and my heart screams with joy over the thought that we someday soon may watch the roaring sea together, and prepare our future vessel that one day will carry us home. I only hope that on the day we finally set our sail, the wind will be forgiving.
