Now it was that the dream weighed upon my thoughts that my heart lacked its usual joy. It had been my intent upon that same day to seek out Curugirion and ask for his considerable wisdom on the matter, but it was Aearandir who again restored peace to my spirit.
“Do not give way to fear, Aearlinn,” said he, when I spoke of what I had experienced. “Fear is like the deepest storm clouds, that build each upon the other and no light can penetrate.”
~ ~ ~
I had been with Durthand and he, partaking of a meal she had most thoughtfully arranged at the higher pavilion. The two, being friends from their respective youths, had bantered most humorously concerning past events and Aearandir’s competency as a mariner. Both could give as good as they received, yet ever with much love and respect for the other. The company in itself, and my dear friend’s kindness drove the immediate thoughts of my own death from the fore of my mind, but when she departed to commence her duties the thoughts returned.
I believe Aearandir knew something was wrong, for he called me to walk with him upon the lawns on that highest place in Thamas Lorn – where the view over the Lhun and the distant hills is most breath taking. And for a short time we joined with three of the assistants who work in the halls, and they making merry with their own singing and dancing.
When their musician, (the assistant cook!) took a rest, Aearandir took out his harp to play..and I danced awhile longer, delighting in the light of Anor and the breeze in my hair; in the many flowers that bore witness to the new year and to the coolness of the grass under my feet. I did not want to be caught any longer in that vision of suffocating, darkened tunnels – so I danced away from the group, to speak out my thoughts. And Aearandir followed, ceasing his music for a time, listening to my concerns.
“Dwell not on this any longer,” he had suggested with a meaningful look. “It is no vision of what is to come, I deem, but your own lack of confidence in your abilities that causes you distress. That I can remedy.”
He had that mischievous glint in his eyes as he spoke. “More training will put things aright! I would that you learn to trust yourself more. To that end, carry now a bag of scrolls and pen, and map out each and every place you traverse. This eve, begin to map out the area surrounding Duillond in your mind and in script, that you know every leaf and bud therein. And I shall take you out into a place untold, with your hood covering your eyes, that you can return to the halls as if in darkness.”
I had looked momentarily aghast, that the bliss of the day seemed taken from me, yet did that not make it all the more precious? But I understood what Aearandir wished to teach. I should have confidence in my own abilities – and if I did not, then it was to me to hone them to perfection.
“If time and duty permit, you should go to Echad Rond and make map of the forest there, and again, ask Culir or one of our scouts to take you out without sight, and watch over you…that you know your way without doubt.”
I must have looked overly thoughtful, for he added rather gently:
“I have lost too many friends and dear ones over the centuries. I will not lose any more if by training and skills I can prevent it. Do not fear – for it will consume you, rather train, and know yourself as we of the herth know you – our trusted and competent Pethroval,” He paused, raising a brow. “And now, before you begin; one more song?”
I laughed at his bluntness, and Aearandir grinned as he observed my discomfort melt away. He took up his harp and began to play.
“Glad am I you spoke to me of this matter. Now can it be dealt with.”
I danced - my feet moving lightly, my mind on the joy of the moment and the task to come. Yet for all that, my greatest fear had never been my own death, as the vision suggested, rather that I should fail those most dear to me, and cause their demise.
But that would not happen! Nay – I was dancing in the light again and I would not permit it.
