The news come at last. Missus Holbrook is passed away. My heart felt like it were falling through the floor when I read the letter from her daughter. I knew she'd been ill for a long while now, so it weren't exactly a shock. But I just weren't expecting it for some reason. I suppose my mind were just in happier, easier places. Not thinking about folk dying.
Her daughter said that the Boarding House had been left to me. Now that did shock me. Oughten Aughtn Shouldn't it have been left to her own daughter? I told her at once that she should have the deed to it, but she said nay, she is happy and pleased with her own home and family. She's got her husband and children and all. She never wanted to take on the Boarding House, which is how I got put in charge of it in the first place when Missus Holbrook took sick.
But now I don't know what to do. In some ways, I feel like the house is mine. I've been there so long now. It really is home to me. But there's always been a little voice in the back of my heart reminding me now and then that it doesn't belong to me. I were just put in care of it, to help run it. And if Missus Holbrook's daughter doesn't want it, and if I were to give it up, what would happen to it? Who would take care of it?
I wish you-know-who was still here. He always knew what to do. He were always calm and steady when I were in a dither. But as they say, no use wishin' for what can't be had.
I suppose, if I do take it on as my own, I could always sell the house if I wanted to... I don't know... make some other kind of life for myself. But what other life would I have? I don't see myself as anything much. I never have. I'm just a plain little girl of Bree. That's all. And I'm fine with that.
Still, I am so terrible sad that Missus Holbrook is gone. She were a piece of my world, even if I didn't visit her so often as I should have. Things feel odd now. Like something is missing.
