I watched Parnard with a sad expression. This journey had brought him nothing he had hoped for. Far from it. It had confirmed his worst fears. We were about to depart Felegoth - what need was there for us to remain?- but only with a new apprentice for me, that being Marawendi. None of us had seen or spoken with Parnard’s hoped for betrothed. That door was closed to him.
Estarfin and I had tried to be supportive. We had encouraged him to have enough self respect to move on, though we had at first explored any possibility Brasseniel was misrepresented by her father. It seemed highly unlikely. We thought the best possible action was to return home, to Numenstaya in the East, where Parnard would not have to answer questions from well-meaning folk, nor endure their looks of pity, which would likely enrage him, if I knew my cousin as well as I thought. He would be among friends again. He did not object as he wanted to depart most hastily. We met at the stable outside the great Caverns of the dwellings, and Marawendi would be travelling with us.
Now the young Wood-Elf maid had been selected by Parnard to take up an apprenticeship with me. She was to study Lore and Gem Smithing. I had no idea if she had the talents necessary to make a good student, but from our meeting I already liked her manner. I had seen her concern when Parnard lay inebriated upon the floor, overcome by woe and trying to numb his pain. She had not shown disapproval, only a willingness to help. A willingness to listen. That was a start upon which I could build…listening. I would do what I could to teach her a skill. In my heart I felt excitement that I could instruct anyone willing again.
But there was Parnard’s struggle to gather his wit and fortitude and see a future, and, even more urgently, there was a path home to be decided upon.
Estarfin and I had already spoken of crossing the Hithaeglir again. Neither of us thought it to be the wisest move. Although we were only two weeks further into spring than when we journeyed here, the weather had become a touch warmer, so that in the more open glades around Felegoth, flowers were already in bloom. A thaw in the mountain passes would make the path far more treacherous underfoot, and with the thaw came goblin hordes looking for fresh air and fresh meat after their long winter underground. That left the Pass of Rohan, far to the South, and the Redhorn Pass, the best in most ways save the nearness to Minas Ellendur, where I had almost lost Estarfin to the darkness of Sauron’s malignancy. I would not easily tread that path… the final almost unthinkable choice was to go through the mines of Moria.
And before that choice, we had to pass back through the forest. Cemmen of the Door Wardens had spoken with us. The King was still keeping all roads closed. We could depart at our own risk, but there would be no escort to Forest Gate, nor patrol checking on us. The only reassurance we were given was there were three patrols out searching for a possible werewolf. If we were fortunate, we would not encounter it.
Parnard was standing a short distance away, staring down at the swiftly-flowing Forest River with one hand on Swan-Hoof’s harness. Marawendi stood close to him, trying to reassure her mount, a small gray horse, while watching Estarfin’s preparations somewhat nervously, I thought.
I patted Pelorian on her neck and she tossed her head in eagerness to be underway.
“A last opportunity to choose, Marawendi, “ I said. “If you leave with us there will be no returning for some months. We shall not hold you the less for changing your mind. But know if you come with us, we shall do our utmost to keep you safe.”
She glanced momentarily at Parnard, then said in a small voice, “I am travelling with you, Lady. It is decided.”
At that, Estarfin walked over. He inclined his head to Marawendi then looked at me. “I did not know we had another joining us?”
“This is the apprentice Parnard found for me. She returns with us to study gem smithing. We did mention it, though not that she would come immediately.”
Marawendi was looking at him with something like awe. She made a deep curtsy.
“Estarfin will protect you too,” said Parnard. “So as you see, Marawendi, you will be perfectly safe.”
I nodded in agreement. She made a faint smile.
“If we are ready, then mount up,” Estarfin was more than ready to be gone.
“I have been ready for some hours,” Parnard said, striding forward and putting his hand on Swan Hoof’s bridle. “Why are we waiting?”
I glanced at Marawendi as I swung up onto the saddle. Parnard’s words were harsh, but she knew a little of what had happened and seemed to understand.
“There is nothing more for us here,” Estarfin turned Norlome’s head to the stable master and he had a few words with him. I rode alongside and pressed a half-gold coin in his hand. Then we were away. All horses heading down the path from Felgoth, crossing the narrow wooden bridge, and moving into the woodlands.
We would ride a short while, we had decided, until the path got too narrow. Then it would be walking and leading the horses again. Oh, for open lands to ride freely on.
“Let us hope we have no unpleasant encounters on our way through,” I said, feeling a little apprehensive. I could not say I felt any ill presence at that point though.
We rode for a short time. It was early morning, and the pale sunlight filtered through the leaves of the trees wherever it could. The sounds of the forest were those we would expect, some rustling of small animals, a few more distant grunts of boars. (We had not forgotten the blighted boar we had seen, and would steer clear of such creatures.)
Eventually Estarfin broke the silence. “It is known the passes over the Hithaeglir are treacherous this time of year. Do we risk returning on that path?”
Rousing himself from thought, Parnard suggested that we go south to wait the year out.
‘South, Lothlorien?’ I furrowed my brow knowing neither Estarfin nor I were much welcomed there.
“Can the Hithaeglir really be much worse now than in winter, I wonder?” mused Estarfin.
We had to cross somewhere, and our choices were limited. For my part I would not cross at the Redhorn Pass. That only left one option. I hesitated a moment to give it name.
“What say you to the Black Pit…to Moria?” I eventually spoke forth. “It has been very long ago, but I travelled therein on occasions with the smiths of Eregion.”
“Is that way even passable now?” Estarfin looked at me questioningly. His eyes held a glimpse of something I had never beheld in them before. Was it fear?
I had been expecting to hear a chorus of ‘Nays’ from my three companions, although I reminded myself that Marawendi and Parnard may not know of the place.
“I cannot say for certain. I do know the Dwarves have sent expeditions there, aiming to reclaim it. There used to be an almost straight path, though also many stairs, from this side of the Mountains through to Eregion. We Mirdan were never permitted to wander freely, nor in the depths of the mines. There I would be lost, but on the higher path I should remember.”
I remembered a glorious underground city. I suspected there was little glory that remained. And I also knew the rumour of the terrible evil that had been awoken in those depths. “There will be no snow or slush or rain,” I continued. “But it is probable we will encounter some orcs and goblins.” At this Marawendi gasped.
“They are possible on any path we take,” I told her. I said no more of the greater evil, thinking it likely to be in the depths.
“If we are likely to meet yrch on any path, then does it make a difference?” Estarfin asked, signaling it was time to dismount and lead our horses for the next stretch of the journey.
Parnard shrugged, looking indifferent as he hopped off Swan-Hoof’s back.
I dismounted but moved to the fore of the group. “I agree, Estarfin. All paths are equally dangerous to some extent. But I will not lead us through Moria without the understanding that it has been long since I was in those Halls, and things may have changed. If we are fortunate we shall pass straight through in two or three days, but if we get lost, or a rockfall blocks certain paths…” my voice trailed off as I looked to the two neri to help me decide. Parnard seemed set on leaving Mirkwood as soon as possible, saying very little. He was not looking ahead any further than that, I realized, and Estarfin only shrugged.
We continued in silence again. Sooner than I had expected we passed the place where we came across the upturned wagon. All signs of what happened there were gone. There was no sensation of being watched, no eyes in the dark, though some distance from the path the place was thick with undergrowth where anything could be hiding.
