Winnie, Words Unspoken

You never needed any of those words.

Even when you wept, even when shame snowed you under. The days you fell apart, you never needed any of the words, Winnie.

You didn't need me either, darlin'.

When I saw you again, that is the word that arrived. Need. 

But did you know I needed you from the first day? All of your raw need was a cheeky disguise for how much strength you gave me, and our friends, instead. How much did I learn, all begun from you?

You saved it all when I did not know what I was doing. Whatever was forgotten, you remembered. Whatever was dropped, you caught it before it broke. Even the needless things. You held on to them just in case, long after everyone else had forgotten.

You asked me to stay. Twice.

Through thick and thin, you made sure I got up again and again to carry on. To carry the others. You and myself. To lead. Even when the curiosities and judgments from outside bamboozled or hurt us and them, it was you who laid out my resolve over and over again.

The mother, the rock, not caring if it left you underfoot. Not caring what others would say about us. Not caving for anything. You placed me there, and never budged. Even when I did.

Well, we got it done, Winnie.

We did it.

You always tell me how much I have been there for you, and you think I dismiss it because I do not care how much it meant to you. As if I did you some great favor.

You should know I needed to be with you when you fell apart, for me. Not for you at all. I was ruined before we met, and could never fall apart like that. Even when I needed to. Seeing you do it was more healing than any of your fancy herbs, your medicines and miracles.

Your trust was as close as I'll ever come to craving safety. Seeing myself through your eyes. You should see yourself through mine, I wish you could.

I already gave you all the words, and I hoped they would be enough.

Words about fawns and swans. Clumsy creatures flailing with long legs only one day to fly. Growing up. Protection, grace.

That was our day and our goodbye. You knew, too, and after the sun set, everything changed.

Do not regret any of it; I would do it all again.

Except for the part where I refused to stay with them the first time you asked me to. 

What a lonely, short sighted fool I was.

Luckily, you asked me twice.