Winnie left the scholars hall, exhaustion filling her. It had been a rough and winding road with Tarsorel thus far. First the drinking had left him so vulnerable that he had latched onto her and he had blindly flailed around and she had tried to set him on his feet, explain it was just his unsteadiness, and he was reaching out for a raft and she was there and he had eventually acknowledged this, then in time they had agreed to try to learn about who each other was, she had asked for space, and it seemed to be going well for a while, but it had seemed strange and a bit confusing, but she trusted it, they had talked often, shared things, he had talked of his wife and she had drawn her for him. Slowly he seemed to be feeling his way forward, or at least she thought, but each time a moment occured of connection he would slip back to her, or to the past, lost in a fog. Then slowly she started to think it was like there was two of him, one side where they were all good and connecting and everything was fine, then a side that was slipping backward to the past. It wasnt till she talked it out that it came clear, it wasnt two, it was one, the same person, one person, and he had never given her space at all, he had been trying to woo her all along, she confronted him, poured her heart out to him, laid herself bare and set boundaries, and the moment she did this, he found himself, stood up tall, and stepped firmly over the boundaries. She was crushed, confused. It was too much. Now, they had fought for the last time on this, she had cried and her heart had broken over the confusion of it all as she told him straight that she could not trust him. Actions speak louder than words. She saw the potential now, that he could stand up and be a man of action, even if it was too late. She hoped he could keep going forward and not go backward now. But they were just friends, that is how they parted
Having become very withdrawn after the last talk in the scholars hall, she has spent her day after day barely moving from secluded corners of the halls researching, every few days emerging to return to go back to the house owned by Lavendara to go sit and scetch a while in her yard and test theories on her plants. Then back to the halls, barely words spoken seeming to have grown very introspect and withdrawn as she struggles with her focus, and her research. Ever waiting for the call to aid. Shying away from social situations and gatherings while she remains steadfast focused
Frowning as Ry had left her at the scholars hall, her refuge of late. His words had been clear. She was to follow Athy. She didnt like the implications one bit. Picking up the books she put them away as casually as she might usually, no rush, one by one, then each scroll. They needed to go back in case someone needed them. Then she picked up her cloak, the soft fabric wrapped around her as she set about to move through the streets to the house. Bilberry already had most of her things on him. She had kept packed mostly lately. A habit bought about from the tension of travel. All she needed was some food, her tent, and a couple of extra items of clothing. She was supposed to check on Cat, she would have to do that before going she thought. A quick look in on her, then she would head off. Cant let her succumb to fever before she leaves. Turning Bilberry toward the Pony she heads there, then off to Lavendara's home, then she would be off to join them. Out into the wilds to hide.
Having gone along with what Ry had requested she had sat up listening to Atharann speaking to someone while in the woods, uneasy and suspicious. She had heard talk of him having animals under his charge and was none too keen on the idea. Heard him often speak of using wolves, and so refused to come out of the cave till it was time to leave other than for absolute need. Now they travelled and it was all too obvious. Inside the first few minutes she took out anise grinding it into Bilberries harness and tack, so that if the wolves came too close their senses would be reeling and over powered, sent into sneezing, unable to smell either her or Lavendara even at the distance they travelled. Thus if things went poorly and the wolves turned on them they would be able to get away and the wolves would only have the scent on the horse to follow, its made very clear that Winnie is far from happy with them being around and does not see them as protection but instead fears them and cant focus on the ride properly making them a hinderance until eventually they arrive. When the one remains she does not go anywhere near Athy and scowls at him avoiding him completely
At the meeting point Winnie keeps far from the point and watches with her weapon out, tense, on edge, the play with the giant, abnormally sized wolf, only making her all the more anxious of the creature as she watches how easily it pins the massive man down to the ground. Bilberry anxious and uneasy moving about clearly disturbed by the wolf also. The horse becoming more and more unsettled and not its usual state of grazing, seeming like it might bolt without its rider, Winnie eventually has to stay close to him having to constantly reassure the horse to keep him from fleeing. Her anger steadily growing she moves away from the meeting point further still so the horse can not smell the wolf
Soon after Atharann sent the alpha off to guard an area he and Winnie fought, hostile words exchanged heatedly over the wolves. His anger clear at her distrust of them, her judgement of his companions. Her upset at feeling he didnt respect their fear of them, the unease of the horses that had made Bilberry so much more difficult to handle resulting in extensive bruising to her in trying to keep the highly spirited horse from wanting to trample the wolves under foot. How easy it would have been for them to be thrown if the horses had become spooked, how hurt he was that she didnt trust his judgement of the wolves. How disempowered and distracted she had felt, unable to focus on those that hunted them, how he was using all his tools to protect them. An impass. Eventually she stepped back, he was there to protect them, they could not be at odds. The wolves had dispersed into the surrounds and she had calmed down. He asked her to just give a try not to judge as he went off to patrol leaving her alone with Lav as she rested in the tent. It wasnt long though before Lav was once more gone again to go and help. Winnie set to guard and watch over her, covering the tent with foliage and pulling more shrubs in around to make it look like a cropping they could be obscured by, and set about making something similar to hide the horses within.
Eventually they all found their way to the location. Ryheric, Cwen, Lavendara and Aerluindil had learned that Tarsorel was taken by Gazakh's men. Bess had scouted them out and marked out the map and they had managed the daring rescue, even Harlod had managed to come back safely. Lav had gone at some point again to go and help. It wasnt the first time they had gone off without her, it wouldnt be the last. She felt this one keenly however and it would live long in her memory as just how much of a burden she was when there was real danger a foot.
