"Frea, why don't you go outside and play? You've already done your chores and I have some jewelry to make for a customer." The boy turns away from his toy box and looks at his Mother. "Are you telling the truth? Or are you trying to make Pa's ring? So that you don't have to find the bad person that took it?"
"Why would I lie to you? No, this is a piece of jewelry for a customer. Now go outside."
"Are you trying to get rid of me? You seem to be doing that a lot more lately! You never talk to me about Pa. I'm tired of having a nursemaid!" The boy refusing to relent to his Mother's current order.
While she feels the sharp pang of the boy's words, the young Mother keeps her impassive temperament. "Think what you want about Gleoith but she was more of a Mother to me than my own. She is your Nanny and you will respect her. You will listen to her as you would me." Her eyes not once looking over at the boy behind her as she begins her creation. Cutting a piece of thread to string the beads along.
"You didn't answer my question Ma! Are you trying to get rid of me?" Still, he persists.
She knew what her boy was feeling.
Abandonment.
It was one of those 'you'll understand when you are older moments.'
She drops her tools and turns to face him.
"No, I am not trying to get rid of you. I am keeping a roof over your head and making sure you are fed. Go outside."
The boy scowls "I hate you!"
She looks at him with a small smile "I've told you before. I am your Mother and not your friend. When you are done Hating me. I will be here."
"I wish Papa were still alive. Then I wouldn't be stuck with you all the time."
"You're upset. I understand. But screaming like this won't get you any closer to an answer." She rises from her seat and for the final time coaxes him out the door.
"Outside. Get some sunshine now."
"Fine! I'll just run away then!"
"Runaway? You mean like you ran away to Mrs. Ashby's yard? Last week?"
Freawine scowls "No somewhere else."
He finally goes out the door and slams it behind him.
"My son.. as he lives and breathes." She muses then collapses onto her chair again.
It felt like she was just assaulted with three different knives in three different regions of her body.
The saying 'It takes a village to raise a child.' came to her mind.
The absence of a Father had a strong effect on the boy.
It didn't help that she was trying to move on.
And his questioning brought the grief of Raymond's passing back to the surface.
She tried so hard to keep her boy away from the pain of her past.
She wanted him to have the chance to simply be a child.
For if he learned the truth too young, he would be crushed.
It was too late for her.
She was crushed long ago and thus forced to become a woman sooner than she liked.
It wasn't a time for pity or tears.
But to remain strong.
How long would she have to keep everything from spilling out onto the surface?
She stares at the beads in front of her and is reminded that keeping her son fed and safe.
Was the only thing that mattered.
It didn't change the fact that it was hard though.
Very, very, hard.
