If it was one thing she learned about herself. It was that she was 'different' and no, this didn't mean, she thought she was above anyone else. In, fact, it was her differences that made her feel like such a burden and an outcast. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Aellwenn knew that, she always knew that, but lately it felt like that confidence was slipping away. When she looked into the mirror she felt like a stranger. These were the things she would not dare to utter. She learned long ago to build up her walls high.
"Mama you're standing by the window again. Are you okay?" Her son's voice rang through the room. "I'm fine dear. I'm just thinking about a few things. Don't worry."
Freawine tugged on the end of his Mother's skirt "Maybe reading me a story will cheer you up?"
Aellwenn looked down at the boy and put on a smile "Who says I'm sad?"
"Well, I don't know, you weren't smiling until now."
"Mm, well I will make sure to smile at you more. Mama is a.. deep thinker did you know that? Sometimes when I'm thinking I don't smile. Your grandmother did not smile at me much when I was your age. It made people think that gloominess was just our way. But no matter.. I'm probably boring you, my dear."
Freawine shook his head "No, you aren't making me bored. I like hearing your voice and your stories."
Aellwenn finally turned to face the boy completely and she got down on her knees, to his eye level. "Is that so? Well then. What story do you want to hear?"
"Tell me about Grandmother. What was she like? Is she still alive?" Her stomach twisted at her son's question. He was seven and come winter he would be eight. His curiosity was growing more and more each day. Lately, his fascination was with his heritage. He started to question what life was like beyond the rustic hills he was born in.
As a mother, she did not want to coddle him. It was never her way. But if she could just preserve his innocence until he reached his teens. Then she would find some solace in it.
"Very well my son. You will learn about your grandmother. But what she would think of you, I do not know. I hope she would come to love you more than she loved me."
Freawine looked at his mother cross-eyed "I don't get it."
Aellwenn chuckled grimly "I don't either little one. But I will break it down a little so that you can understand. We will talk about her personality and accomplishments."
Freawine sighed "But that's what I said! I asked you to tell me what she was like. N0t.. well whatever grown-up words you just used."
"Sit down by the fire I'll get some coffee and we'll start this rainy morning with a story."
"I don't like coffee!" He huffed.
"Not for you silly! For Mama. I'm going to need something to get me through all the questions you'll be asking. If you'll even allow me to get a word in." She chuckled.
The boy let out a disgruntled sigh and waited patiently by the fire for his Mother.
Why wouldn't she tell him anything useful?
One day though, he may understand her perspective.
After all, childhood is supposed to be simple.
