Eira took the news with mixed emotions when I delivered it to her. She needed to spend some time alone to make up her mind about what she really was feeling. I started it off, trying to make her father look bad. Was it wise, maybe, but either way, she seems to be thinking a bit clearer. Survivor guilt is difficult to get over, but she will need to deal with these issues independently.
I wish I had a make everything better magic wand. I heard someone say that sarcastically once. I don’t remember who, but since then, I have wished for one many times. A genuine wish, not a sarcastic wish. Those I care for and those I help would be so much better.
Ric would be the first person I used the wand on. Him and his dislike of being around people. It is getting worse and worse each day; I have seen folk like this turn into cold-blooded murders. I won’t let him live that life. I will stop it if I can, but I know what I must do if he does. But I love the boy.
If it only had so many uses, I think I would save as many as I could for my love, Egfor, but I would want to use it on Eira, and one on each of his sisters and my little brother and sister.
Why am I wasting my time thinking about something that can never be? Maybe because I am watching so many people I care for hurting. Or perhaps it is because I have too much love, as my mom says. Or perhaps I am just a romantic fool. But Egfor loves me for whatever reason, and I am blessed for it. Truly blessed.
Egfor’s sisters and their adult families only offered up a mild resistance to the rules I set down for them. Of course, I had Egfor deliver them. They may see me like family but are they willing to follow things I set up for their safety. I couldn’t take the chance.
