I have decided to begin writing in my diary again. Last time was years back, when I first left Harad. I suppose this is because I prefer to read rather than write unless I have something I need to get off my mind. I actually tend to use it as my own way of opening up, if only to myself and the book itself.
A few nights ago, I was abandoned by the one I was starting to love. I got back to her, half alive, from what I thought was a battle for the survival of us as a couple and as, well, living beings. Instead, as cold as night itself, she threw me aside as you would to an apple gone bad. Left behind her heartless ways, I sat alone, wounded and distraught. This has not only left me heartbroken, but deeply confused and distressed.
This being said, I will get over her. My friend Egfor talked to me about getting back at her by being well and prosperous. At first I though it sounded useless, as she has shut down completely, emotion wise. But as he assured me that this was not the case, I have come to agree with this idea. Therefor, I shall stop my miserable ways and try to show my best side to the people of Bree. Perhaps then she will realize her mistake? I do not know to be honest, but it can not do any harm I suppose.
Other than my problems with Ristiinna, the last week or so has been tumultuous. My supposed duel with Furley turned into me walking straight into a three man trap. It was stupid of me, thinking he had some sort of honor. I suppose there was no way he would risk a fight like that, considering he has the courage of a castrated squirrel. Anyways, they took me to their hide out for a full week. And I must say, after listening in on conversation after conversation, that company frightens me. Not for the reason I usually fear the local gangs of Bree, but because I fear they have few limits in what they may resort to. Granted, they let me go, but I belive this was because of Furley and his unclear wishes.
I belive the lack of morale and lust for violence within that company is rooted in a unfortunate ratio between brain and brawn. That being a lot of brawn and very little brain. I must make sure to keep this company from getting too much power over Bree, as that could get ugly. I just do not know how.
/Signed
Baraque Nalfaar
