When I knew I had fallen in love with Egfor, I made several promises to myself. I broke two recently, but at least the reaction wasn't him running as I thought it would be. The first broken promise was telling Egfor my complete thoughts on his friend Fox. I have more than what I actually told him, but I told him enough that had he not been seeing Fox in a more realistic view, he would have defended him and perhaps left me to try and show me how wrong I was.
Egfor, like most Rohirr, is stubborn to the point that he can become close-minded. I can't say I am not that way because I am, but knowing your lover is the key to working past even the worst of arguments. This came about when I watched Egfor become jealous of a man that Fox seems very intent on. Fox even made Egfor apologize to me...well, he tried too, I refused to let Egfor do it. Egfor told me what I was in store for when we met; I accept him for what he is.
You see, I think that is the difference between love and lust. When you love someone, you accept them as they are, which is usually nowhere your ideal mate's mold. A mold you know he or she will never meet. But you accept them as they are and perhaps change yourself a bit to ensure their happiness. On the other hand, Lust is one where you don't know your partner outside of sex, and you don't care too. If they don't fit in your mold, you try to force them into it. When they don't bend to your desires, you move on to another. Lust rarely lasts, but love is eternal.
Some will call me a romantic. Perhaps I am, or as I like to believe, I love those I do with a full heart, unbound by molds and requirements. They can hurt me easily because of this love for them, but I won't, no I can't unlove someone I have fallen in love with.
The second promise I broke to myself happened during us waking slowly and gently with each other. I told him I was his and only his body, heart, and soul forever. I don't know that he believes me. I am not sure he is ready to consider it possible yet because of his past. He did, however, seem pleased with those words. He did not push me away emotionally, yet he is still guarded; I can feel the wall, but it crumbles. When he finally believes, I know he will not bolt and leave me, but that fear lingers in the back of my mind until then.
Egfor when will you learn my love is lasting and true?
