Some days are just a gordamned nightmare, and just when ya think you woke up and everything is ok, somebody peels their own face off and you are right back in the crazy.
I don’t normally do this kind of diary thing, this is more my sister’s conceit…but I got time to kill and a lot of this crazy to get through.
I lingered around Dol Amroth most of the evening, looking into this and that and havin’ a few drinks with a Knight or two. Stopping by the Court, I caught Princess Goldilocks up on what news I had and headed back to Tol Lochul for some shuteye.
That wasn’t gonna work out. Surprised?
Anyway, I walk in the Kinhouse and find that my sister Xanderian and most of her harem are off picking wildflowers in gauzy gowns and big floppy hats or some such...but Finchley is here having a deeply personal moment with what looked to be most of a roast boar. Not that I was surprised mind ya, I ain't that stupid, but I just don’t know where that little slip of a girl puts all she eats. She eats more then me and I can put it away pretty good and she is…well…babygirl. I swear to feckin god someday we are gonna find out both her damn legs are hollow, built by one of her odd dwarves in his spare time.
Anyway, she stalks her way in followed by that fella that met us when we were in Morlad. Rathsomething, but I just call him Slick. He’s the sort of tark that would kidnap your grandmother, sell her back to ya, and then charge ya expenses for showin’ her a good time. Anyway, he walks in behind Addie sniffin' her skirts which makes sense, as he tends to look at her the way Finchley was looking at what was left of that boar.
Slick weren’t the only parasite clingin’ to her hip, neither, as she came in carrying that Morgul blade from Kheledul on her belt. The blade was hucked at Rian by Erach, a Necromancer out of Angmar and a very, very bad person. After it sort of killed Xanderian and she got better, she recovered the blade and renamed it Pride as a lesson to herself. Yeah, my stupid sister does stuff like that, figures it makes her seem deep and philosophical. Anyway, she was planning to carry it around herself, but it started making her morose and snippy, even more morose and snippy than normal, so she left it in Imladris with Lord Elrond Stuffypants who promised to take care of it. Funny thing was at the time Addie was apparently one of the loudest voices saying that Rian should leave the Dagger for her own good, and here she was carrying it around like it’s her new best friend.
Of course I called her on it, taking time to think of a non-aggressive, constructive way to mention it to her, seeing as how she has been, like I said, creepy. So I said “HorseImp, have you lost what little feckin’ mind you ever had? Put that cheap falderal DOWN you idiot before ya hurt yer damn self.”
That didn’t go very well at all.
Addie got all defensive and practically started hissing and crawling like a spider under the table, and Slick protected his dream sweetie and said all sorts of nonsense which had no meaning but used LOTS of big words. I couldn’t even get them to give me a straight answer as to how they got it from Elrond. Slick kept insisting that Elrond just GAVE it to him, which is a bit like Prince Imrahil saying “My daughter’s virginity? Why of course Mr Sleazy Corsair, belly up to the bar while I pick out her nightie.” In short, these two tarks thought they could play me. Seriously?
Long and short, the HorseImp finally gave me a line about trying to raise her dead father and knowing what she is doing and Slick was just doing her bidding..and callin’ in the promise I made to her that I would have her back no matter what…so damn it what could I do? I gotta be more careful what I promise to crazy Rohan moralists with daddy issues. Besides, she is the type who would sneak away and play her games with us or without us, so better that I keep an eye on her. After all, I promised I would Hack her fool head off if she went bad on us…and her neck was starting to look mighty cleavable.
I know it sounds crazy...but I can't help thinking it will all be for the best to let her see her plan through. When it goes bust she will learn a good lesson, no harm done.
Once Addie had settled down to sleep and I had reminded Slick I had counted all the damn silverware so he should keep his pockets light, I noticed something. Babygirl was acting like she had just swallowed a live Caveclaw, holding her hip and making cute little owwie noises. It would a been sort of adorable if she didn't look like she was about to cry...or puke..or both.
Dragging her off to her room…well…the Hamster’s room but her's now, I asked her what the devil was going on. She hemmed and hawed and held her hip until I told her to drop her pants or I was going to strip her the way the Swan Knights do a new recruit on Paddle Night during Initiation. She turned a few colors and pulled her belt down a bit to show me what she called her “Birthmark”.
Birthmark my ageless white arse…that was a brand. Red and angry and razor clear…a circle split by three uneven lines. For a second I couldn’t breathe….Babygirl had an Angmar Slave brand…and a hexed one at that. She must of saw I was losing my normal icy cool over this cause she started explaining a mile a minute. She said she had always had it and her old Grams had said it was a birthmark and it had always been just sort of pink and mushy but now it was red and sharp and burned like a goblin on “roast”. I could see she was really hurting and it cut me even deeper…branded and in pain..MY babygirl. Someone was going to beg for death over this. She was nearly as upset as I was, saying it had never hurt before, except for a little bit now and then, but as soon as Addie walked in with that Morgul blade it started to try to kill her from the inside.
I calmed her down, and asked her some questions but she had no answers. She never knew her parents, had no idea where she came from…that old bat she called Grams said a little bundle of drooling flesh was left on her doorstep one night and since the old woman had already eaten and wasn’t hungry, she kept it and named it Finchley. That story was sounding lamer and lamer. I mean, is that a thing in Bree? "Gosh, we ordered an extra baby.. let's leave it on the porch of that crazy old hermit woman and hope for the best."? Finally I let it go, and after Babygirl freaked about being an Angmar slave I explained a bit to her about Angmar. Poor little applehead knew nothing.
I gave her the rundown on the Dark Brotherhood and the four Sorcery Guilds which controlled Angmar for the false king. The Guild of the Unsealed, which focused on necromancy, the Guild of the Unkindled which deal with fire magic, the Guild of the Unmoving which deal with ice magic, and the Guild of the Unexpected, which work shadow magic. All four of them with their own slaves and power structure, fighting with the Dark Brotherhood for power and favor from the false king, or the Witch King, or Ole’ One Eye himself.
Erach was a senior Necromancer of the Guild of the Unsealed, so likely that was the Guild she was once a slave of if his old blade made her Slave brand go berserk. The bastards hex the brands of special slaves like that, so they can find em later in a crowd. Wave the blade and see who screams. She liked this news not at all, but I promised her it didn’t matter none, and we would get to the bottom of it all. I was NOT gonna let some fecking Angmar filth hurt her. I had seen what the slavers do to things like Babygirl, seen what they did to….no..just NO. I will die first before that happens again, I don’t care what I gotta do, who I gotta break. Just no.
We gotta learn more. First big question is what did her Grams know or not know…and we were gonna have to find out what was really behind that stupid doorstop story. Where did Finchley really come from, and why were her parent’s dead…IF they were dead?
But that is for another time…right now Babygirl is sleeping with her head in my lap, two of Hawke’s little fuzzballs asleep on her tummy. Her face is still wet from crying and I want to put my fecking fist THROUGH someone. DAMMIT! This little bit of Breeland idiocy cries and I feel like the whole damn world is on fire. For a second I am tempted to kill and cook Slick just to feel better since I don’t like his type. He said he was gonna go camp on the lawn and even though I don’t trust him much further then I can slide him across broken glass one handed, this ain’t his fault..I am gonna find whose fault it is. Trust me.
First we are gonna sort out this whole “Gosh kids, lets raise the DEAD!!” kick that Addie is on just to stop her from being creepy and eating bugs and whatnot..and then I will find whoever is behind all this with Finchley. Soneone BRANDED my Babygirl when she was a baby like a piece of meat, BRANDED HER…and took the time to hex it so they could find her later. Every time I think of that I see red mist again. SOMEONE is going to die for this, badly..maybe a lot of someones.
Angmar better know I am coming for them...just stay out of my gordamn way.
